If he doesn’t take the handshake the only appropriate thing to do is to wait outside the bathroom, follow him to the parking lot and then follow him home. Once you learn his address, you can start learning his routines and the routines of his family. There are many options at this point, but the one I recommend is applying for a job where he works. The next step could take a long time, potentially years. Work your way up the ladder. Take night classes to fit the roles you’re applying for internally, and dedicate yourself to the job. Delay finding “the one” and starting a family like you’ve always dreamed of. Nothing matters but the job. Bide your time and when you finally are promoted to this man’s boss, on your first day, offer a handshake. Of course, he won’t deny you. Relish this moment. Feel the warmth of his hand I yours. Smile and say “was it really that hard?” When he gives you a quizzical look, laugh it off like it was a joke. You want to call it there, but you’re in too deep. You’re making nearly 300k a year in salary and commissions and you have a clear shot at EVP if you play your cards right. Your lifestyle has changed and you have an expensive mortgage, a boat payment for a yacht you don’t have time to take out, and a number of women half your age that you spend what little free time you have with wining and dining. They have expensive tastes. You tried coke recently and you really like it. It makes your job so much easier because you need to be “on” all the time and you haven’t been sleeping well, but you’ve discovered that if you do just exactly the right amount, you can perform at peak. You have it totally figured out.

What a terrific summary. Thank you

Please let this usher in a new era of non-reboot or sequel high budget films

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Really great work. Please do keep posting

It’s just me kidding around. Exaggeration for comedic effect.

“Wealthy artist had a lot of sex a hundred years ago”

Shocking

So tired of seeing that bellend’s grinning doofus face on things

Relevant

“If I need lubricated to do something, I don’t want to do it.”

—Someone who has never had sex, worked on a car, or had a colonoscopy

Oh of course! Thank you so much. I remember now seeing this around the time it came out, but haven’t checked in on CBB in forever

I know your username is a reference to something, but I can’t remember what. I tried googling it and all that comes up is posts by you. Am I going crazy or is it actually a reference?

Witchcraft

What do you mean? Not sure I follow

If you’ve never tried this with a sandwich, give it a shot. Toast the bread well, then take a peeled clove of garlic and rub it on the inside facing side of each slice. Basically, you’re using the rough surface of the bread to grate the garlic down to nothing until the clove is gone and transferred to the surface if the bread. Then add a light bit of olive oil, salt, and pepper. This works especially well with with salami or prosciutto and basil sandwich.

If you like garlic, it imparts a powerful flavor, even moreso than chopped. It’s basically like micro planed, but quicker

What the fuck is wrong with you?

That is maybe the funniest possible reply to my comment

I copied the code block. Where should I paste it?

Beautiful. Also it’s red and it looks a lot like a spider, so 10/10 on the naming

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