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Cake day: July 16th, 2024

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  • Child does not want to eat more -> parent asks child to eat one more bite -> child says they can eat two bites -> parent asks child to eat two bites -> child learns to only tell parent they can eat two bites if they want to deal with a parent asking them to eat two bites -> child learns to only tell parent they can do X if they want to deal with being asked to do X -> child learns to only tell parent what they can do if they can deal with being asked to do it -> child learns to only tell parent things if the parent will handle it in a way that helps them.

    To be fair, this is a good life lesson to learn with employers, cops, judges, inspectors, teachers and other unilateral authorities, but it would be nice if a child can trust their parents with anything.




  • Hope is great as long as you don’t try to summon it. “When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure”. Hope comes naturally when you’re trying to do things that you can actually believe have a chance of doing something that matters to you. Its absence is a warning, a signal to change your behavior to something that does work.


  • That’s advice that will get you a burnout. Hope, especially when sought for with the purpose of maintaining high levels of stress, will break you when it becomes implausible.

    It is a promise that can become false, and once your body knows you’re willing to lie to trick it into greater productivity, it’ll just stop listening to you.

    It’s dangerous to trust famous people with life advice because of survivorship bias. Even if they are honest about their life stories, they are not representative of everybody that tries a thing.

    Dealing with high stress means caring for yourself in the moment, building structures that make it easier for you to care for yourself, and escaping the situation if you can.

    It’s debriefing, processing traumas as they happen, touching grass, hugging, and understanding what makes life worth living even now.

    It’s solidarity networks, resource pooling, leaning on friends and comrades and letting them lean on you, and forming collectives.

    It’s unionizing, demonstration, occupation, and revolution.