Leaving dishes in the sink to “dry”. Take 5 seconds of you previous time, use a towel and put it in the cupboard so the sink is usable if you need it for something.

POV: You’re Alexandra Daddario.

Ordering 48 separate pizzas.

Waking up every morning, finding out I didn’t die in my sleep.

Probably improved them.

Brother, what are you talking about?

There’s even some fully hand animated and colored stuff from Disney.

No more ingrown hairs. Just grow outwards you dingus.

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“Of course I am listening…” “…listening to this banger the frogs are dancing to.”

My Asmongoon impression:

“Yeah, I mean yeah, no. I total agree with that, yeah, no. Yeah, I mean that just what it is, is it?. Yeah. No, Yeah. I mean… Yeah. What is this? I mean yeah, no.”

Repeat for 6 hours.

Dude has literally the vocabulary of a fucking Etch A Sketch.

Nah your thinking about Lightbulb Zeppelin. Of course it’s not as new as OLED Zeppelin.

I always thought this was a security feature. Guessing a password that you don’t know the length of is a lot harder.

Have you tried being an attractive woman?

The 3 sources are all Florida Men™

Drunk Guy: “There are 10 urinals, and Im gonna piss against the wall.”

https://youtube.com/shorts/M21flHkO4Yk

Or you just realized that the rules have never been written with you in mind. “You” being a middle aged depressed overworked underpreforming loner without a family or future. It doesn’t matter to you whether Jesus himself or straight up Nazis are going to be elected because you’re most likely not even going to see the end of the next legislative period. Best case nothing happens, worst case, you’re going to face the wall with a smile.

But what else should I jerk off to then?

Porn, Video Games and Youtube Shorts. The Holy Trifecta of Loneliness .