You and I have very different definitions of sin
That’s not a sin.
“WTF? I’m going to get crucified for little Timmy, when he beats off on his dad’s OnlyFans account in 2022? That’s a no.”
Jesus ALLOWED himself to be crucified because of our sins.
He noped out.
dude that’s some weak sauce in the meme
what of dropping nukes on Japan, or gassing jews or the jews obliterating their neighbors, or the genocide of native inhabitants by immigrant colonists, or shooting protestors or ad infinitum.
Yeah OPs is way funnier than yours. Sorry boss.
Ty
> dropping nukes on Japan
> Jewish genocide
> Palestinian genocide
> native inhabitant genocide
> shooting protestors
It’s officially canon that God doesn’t see these as sins because he’s a cunt.
DEUS VULT!
I love when people use these tame little examples of sinful fetishes when there is an entire galaxy of god-awful things people get off to in this world. I think Jesus let himself be taken out cause there’s not enough eye bleach in the universe…
cranking your hog to questionable material is not prohibited in the ten commandments
Or a guy rap*ng a child then murder it. No way that was real, he simply landed in this garden orgy and joined in. Deciding, orgies are nice, gotta protect the homies.
Or saw a guy jacking it to wario hentai and was like ‘this isnt so much a sacrifice as an escape’.
Jesus be like “oh god they’re gettin creative”
Bold of you to assume that was a sin
Well it was a guy. Makes it gay. You know how that mythology feels about gay.
I know that the Old Testament spat out some dubiously translated shit that was abolished by the new covenant and Jesus had jack and shit to say about gays sooooooooo
You guys, the best Jesus stories aren’t in the Bible. Look up the “Apocrypha” to get a list of these books.
In one, a schoolboy aged Jesus kills a kid and then brings him back to life, just to be a show-off little shit. He did plenty of sinning himself.
Wild, wild stuff, including lots of stories about Jesus’ childhood.
That’s… not a thought I was prepared to have today 💀
You know, it’s kind of refreshing to think that somebody tried to think of the most horrific sexual perversion imaginable, and could only come up with Waluigi hentai.
c/wholesome
The hardest thing to do is invent an entirely new perversion.
I put 2 rats, a clove of garlic and a 1/4 cup of heavy cream in my Ninja blender, then funnel the resulting mixture into my ass while an obese clown massages my taint.
That’s just a Juggalo Jiggle.
I think the bloodhound gang is still ahead of you on that one.
They probably could have thought of worse, but then it goes from being funny to being depressing.
There are produced movies with far more sinister perversions than that.
The actual worst thing is probably known to and performed by a select few.
And they are usually depressing movies.
I was going to take a stab at guessing, but I realized I was doing too good a job and decided not to make anybody else read that.
When I was a teen I used to sometimes play “what’s the worst thing I can possible imagine” as a kind of mental exercise. I really, really wish I could undo the years of playing this game, now.
Thank you for your prescience or at least sacrifice.
Also, how is that a sin?
It is central to most major religions the need to control the sex lives of their followers.
The Bible doesn’t say that masturbation is a sin, but since Christianity is a religion, they cannot permit their followers to control their own sex lives.
As a result, most sexual expression is considered a sin, and they will use any excuses or lies possible to make sure it stays that way.
To add to this, the most closely related passage in the bible is in Genesis 38, where this guy Onan was ordered to have children with his brother’s widow so the child could inherit his brother’s estate.
This seems to me a bit outside your usual family obligations, and so did the guy because while he engaged in sexual intercourse, he “spilled his seed” on the ground to avoid fulfilling this familial duty.
God didn’t think much of that and killed him on the spot.
The tale is usually linked more to the “sin” of contraception, but it seems like a much more pragmatic story: it’s best you knock up your brother’s widow than have everyone start a war over the spoils.
And the Lord sayeth, “creampie your sister-in-law or I’ll fucking kill you.”
his brother’s widow
Tamar is an interesting character in her own right, and worthy of being named.
After this, she’s supposed to marry Judah’s (Onna’s dad’s) third son, but considering he just lost two, he doesn’t want it to go through. He sends her home to her parents and blows her off when she asks when the marriage is going to happen. (The Bible has a lot of verses about leaving parts of your field unharvested for widows. Not having a husband = hellish poverty.)
She eventually gets fed up with this, disguises herself as a temple prostitute, Judah shows up, has sex with her, and gives her a family emblem as an IOU.
Later, she ends up pregnant, so the village elders drag her before Judah for punishment (he’s her father-in-law still technically.) They are going to put her to death, and Judah asks her who knocked her up. She produces his family emblem, and he has to be “well, you got me, I guess I have to take care of you.
Ok that’s one fucked up family. Out of all of them, god only saw fit to smite one of them? Sheesh.
I always read it as being about defying the law (backed by divine enforcement):
His father commanded him to “… fulfill [his] duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for [his] brother”, which implies that this was considered a legitimate obligation. His transgression, then, was that he pulled out “to keep from providing offspring for his brother”, actively refusing to fulfill that obligation. In that reading, it’s a tale about obeying the orders and customs of your elders.
Of course, these don’t have to be exclusive: “These norms exist for a reason, so you should damn well obey them.”
Fun fact: In the Indigenous Australian society I’m most familiar with, if you’re a man and your brother dies, his wife is now your wife, and you have his familial obligations. This is to ensure that his family will be cared for.
This seems to me a bit outside your usual family obligations
It was actually the law to do that, IIRC. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yibbum
Well the article says that
the brother of a man who died without children is permitted and encouraged to marry the widow. However, if either of the parties refuses to go through with the marriage, both are required to go through a ceremony known as halizah, involving a symbolic act of renunciation of their right to perform this marriage.
So, permitted and encouraged, but not forced into it. Except by god it seems.
You’re not supposed to have fun. Also you need to make a baby with every sperm. As explained by the Great Sages here:
It won’t load for me, but I assume this will link to Monty Python’s “Every Sperm is Sacred”?
It is. I changed it now. Maybe you want to try again?
Nice! Classic skit, perfectly applied.
I tried again, still didn’t work for me. Could be my layers of VPN, or I might need to update my Lemmy client, though.
Not working for me either.
He was probably relieved when the next sin would come up and would just be waluigi hentai again. In fact it was most likely waluigi hentai that made him reconsider when he was about to give up on humanity. Who knows?
Which commandments does it even violate?
I’m not religious but I find it funny how offended all the die hard atheists are because of religious rules. It’s symbols. Maybe the core of those is just to guide one through life with sound advice like endless desire and excess won’t lead to fulfilment and cause suffering like the well beloved bhudda says. Just because your relatives were religious nuts doesn’t mean it’s all pure mind control bullshit.
It is pure mind control though. You can argue that peaceful and civilized societies need individuals who repress and restrict themselves, morally or otherwise, to survive. But that doesn’t change the fact that religion is a mechanism to indoctrinate and assimilate repression. Pure and simple.
