which is obvious bullshit, but who cares because nothing matters anymore and our collective attention span is

I can’t wait to hear how fucking Mike Johnson defends this shit

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It is 2029. You wake up and rush to turn on your gold Trump TV with its gold Trump remote to hear the mandatory Trump’s Minute Hate. Something about Biden again even though he’s been dead for 2 years now. At least it’s not about the trans immigrants at the Trump-Mexico border.

You wait obediently for the tirade to end and swallow your RFK Jr.-approved TrumpRx beef supplements. You grab your gold Trump phone and get in your gold Trump truck that only takes Trump super leaded diesel at $9 a gallon and gets 10 MPG. You watch the obligatory display ad (Trump Credit - new low 51% APR!) before you are allowed to start. You take the Trump expressway, the one with the tolls every five miles, because you’re running late to your job at the Trump Department of Trump.

When you arrive, the Trump TV is already on. In fact it’s always on, it’s illegal for any government office not to have a Trump TV on. You are immediately assaulted with a close up of Best President Trump’s drooling, age-spot riddled strokeface as an interpreter gleefully translates his spastic gurgles as an announcement of his intention to add a Trump dome (gold, of course) to the Trump wing of the Trump House, and also there may be a slight six month delay in pay to Trump Department of Trump employees due to budget restructuring.

OK, then. So today’s the day. You go to your gold desk, open the gold drawer, pull out your Trump-issue gold Trump gun, load the gold Trump bullets and put it to your temple. After a moment’s hesitation, you pull the trigger, but the gun jams. Then you remember, it’s Trump gold. You put your head down on the desk and weep, even as your coworkers rise for the 9 A.M. Trump of Allegiance.

c/theyknew

Hegseth is safe so long as there’s still women around to fire instead

girl bad

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Well yeah, this was probably the primary reason for Trump to fire her when he did.

The argument is bullshit because Bondi is subpoenaed in name, not by her office. It doesn’t have to be a good argument, though, because the Supreme Court just ruled that contempt of Congress is meaningless.

Man, someone called this play on the day they fired Bondi.

I know I can’t be the only one, but I did!

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created using the same technology that is driving us toward the dystopia that it presents. ironic

multiple videos directly contradicting the official narrative in 3… 2…

fuck it, I’m leaving it

fuck I actually did this once. I didn’t tie it on, but I was driving the car and suddenly there was no mattress

…and we’re done here

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Hey Donald, another woman for you to fire