I'm having thoughts. Thoughts capable of strangling you even after death. They court me like I was their last dance. Every day and every night, they creep up on me like liches and remain till I'm all dried up.
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I wanted to change. But they keep me away from seeing the path. Wanting me to remain in this labyrinth of mirrors. Seeing myself drown into the depths of despair, on an endless loop.
My persona couldn't keep up anymore. The "me" that I didn't want out, started pulling the other "me" that was living in a delusion. I couldn't trust anyone, let alone scream inside. Claws of the past kept their grasp on my neck squeezing till I no longer had my voice. Negative thoughts kept pouring onto me like it was my fuel. For it was the only thing that kept me "sane."
I'm afraid. Afraid of what I have become. Afraid of being "saved."
