Wetherspoons
People have short memories and that is what boils my piss.
Wetherspoons has got to be my favourite pub chain. I say this because the buildings are often beautiful, the atmosphere is lively with a mix of locals who seem part of the furniture as well as the visitors who come and go. But more importantly, it’s the cheap price and wide selection of drinks they have to offer that attracts me most. At £1.99 a pint, who can complain? I mean, in most pubs around the London area it’s considered cheap if you manage to nab a pint for under £5.
I’ve been thinking, perhaps when all this Corona business is over, I´ll challenge my friends to start at one end of a Wetherspoons bars beer taps and work our way to the other. I mean, surely it won’t cost more than £20 to do this at £1.99 for most pints last time I checked, and we’d be suitably pissed by the end of it. It would be a good night, and we’d get to try a lot of new beer and come home with some change too. Maybe enough to buy a kebab, an essential after a heavy night out on the booze.
I love the amount of craft ales they have to offer. Every time I go there, there’s always something new to try. Some of my friends say it tastes of “bath water”, but they obviously haven’t grown out their nappies yet. They drink mass produced lager, and I just can’t bring myself to understand why. I like most of the ales they have to offer, but at £1.99 you can hardly complain if you get one which you don’t. Just tip it on the carpet and order another.
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Now, when lock-down was announced, Tim Martin, the owner of Wetherspoons got a lot of grief for telling his employees to take unpaid leave and “get a job at Tescos.” Most of the people who complained about this were called Karen, and they voiced their opinions on Facebook.
Now, I believe it to be the case that come summer time, when we have consistently nice weather, and the pubs are (possibly) reopened it will be the Karens of Facebook who are the first to march down there. I guess when they reopen it will only be take away service to begin with, or perhaps social distancing in the gardens. Time will tell what Boris decides. Until he does, we must wait and see.
Anyway, back to the Karens. They will be the first down there, taking selfies of themselves to send to all their friends and post on social media, with a £2 glass of Rose wine in one hand and a Menthol cigarette — oh wait, those got banned recently; let’s say a Marlboro Gold — in the other.
What I’m trying to say is this: People have short memories and that is what boils my piss. Love something one day, complain about it the next, and then love it again after. Will these people who complained about Tim Martin getting rid of a load of staff at the beginning of lockdown be giving a generous tip to the staff that serve them next time they go to a Wetherspoons when they reopen?…. I’m not so sure they would. All will be conveniently forgotten about. Especially after a couple of tipples.
I love Wetherspoons, and as soon as they reopen, I will be back for more. Some of my readers will be wondering: Will I be dishing out generous tips to Wetherspoons staff when I go back? The answer is: No.
— D. M.
