Well?
A little rant for you.
I think I gonna call you Dorian for now on. It’s a portmanteau from your name btw.
Do you know how I feel when I know about you recently?
I’m mad, sad, and happy for the time. The feeling can’t be stabilized or narrowed down into one word. But whatever it is, here’s for you:
Madness I have since our last conversation still here, in that little hole you make at that day. In some gloomy day, I still asks myself: “am I worthy enough to be in someone’s life?”. The person that always praise me for being me, now just sayin’ that I’m the problem of the friendship. But ya, let that aside. I’m mad because you broke many of your principle. No drunk, be faithful, and never hurt yourself again. I don’t know if I ever help you — maybe I’m not — you are getting better since the last storm.
Then one day, I saw you go to professional help. Which you never ever wanted if I ask you to. So, she really affect you that much is she? It’s irritated me, again. Maybe everything you do just irritated me in some way we never understand.
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After that, sadness just greet me from the silent. My ego got softened again. Question just keep popping up in my head. Hey, life hurt you again right? Is it harder than before? Is she hurt you as the other one do? ….
Are you okay?
I only can send this question to your room chat. Your answer? Aman, I’m okay. Ironic. I’m not your safe place again, ya?
I miss your “Too much information” phase, love. You never approach me as friend or as anything anymore. But deep down, I know you just don’t care. Lol. So, I come back. Since you are not asking for help, I back down. Struggling between become the old Aise or just be Mpus.
Honestly, you just unsubscribed from Aise since that day, sorry.
But, I’m happy for you. Finally you choose to heal yourself. Well, man never fight for people they don’t have interest with, right? That’s why you never try to listen and understand what I said. Isokayyy. At least, you are trying your best for now. I saw you have so many friend too? Be nice with them, ya? Make more good memories so the sorrow can buried somewhere, okay?
I’ll always cheer you up from here even I still hold some grudge for you. For everything, just please, stop using woman as a bait in your things, pretty please? Even it’s just for gimmick.
Sampaikan salamku untuk semua yang pernah kamu kenalkan. Semoga doa baik menyertai kehidupan kamu dan semua orang. Not your roblox friend. They took you from me.
Last, but not least. Take a break, stop looking for happiness in other person, you need to be happy for yourself. Please smile and laugh more, pinky promise me?
With love,
Aise ❤
