Alcoholism
Growing Up
My mom was an alcoholic growing up. Probably from the time I was 12. She was an amazing mom in the early years. Had a great job as a nurse. She was respected in the community. We lived in a town of about 2,000 people. Growing up we were a regular family. Camping, fishing, my brother and I playing sports. Until…. the first thing that happened was my mom was hit by a drunk driver. Her car was totaled. She was injured, collar bone broken and her foot was broken. Then… from what I now know she became dependent on pain pills. I remember seeing Vicodin in her drawer. I would always look in her drawers for new makeup she had. At the young age of about 10, I never noticed her acting differently so at the time I had no idea. Later that year, my parents got divorced. My dad cheated on my mom with her best friend, Diane. My dad moved out and moved in with his girlfriend. I remember going there once and it was really strange. I walked in the bedroom to ask my dad if my brother and I could go outside and play. He was in bed with another woman. It was strange and for some reason have never forgotten it. My mom started dating Diane’s husband and went on trips wiht him. I remember my aunt, Linda, coming to watch us as they flew off to Vegas to spend time together. By the time I was 12, my parents had reconciled and got back together. That was when the drinking started. Both of them. They would drink and get in fights. I would have to be up for school at 6:45am to catch the bus. I remember sometimes staying up to break up fights until all hours of the morning. Surviving on little sleep. The weekends were the worst. Thank goodness I had someone in my corner. I was very close to my aunt in Florida, Susan, my mom’s sister. I would call her during these fights and she was able to talk my mom down from her behavior and allow me to go to bed. When I was 15, I was lucky enough to have a best friend so i would spend a lot of time at her house over the weekends and summers.
Vicodin- side story
I don’t know if my mom was taking Vicodin while drinking but I’m sure she was. My aunt in Florida (who's now passed) told me that if I sent her the Vicodin she could get me money for them. Being a teenager at this point and needing money, I did. She would give me $5 a pill. I would slowly take a few at a time. Not knowing she had a prescription for them. But I was really young. This was circa 1994. I was 14 years old. My thoughts at such a young age were that if I give them to someone else, my mom wouldn’t be able to take them and be crazy.
12 Years Later-
I meet my ex husband. We had so much fun in the beginning. I was 26 years old when we met, he was 36. We partied and traveled and had a blast. We got married on a beach in cabo and then two kids came shortly after. We’d still occasionally go out but nothing crazy. In August 2023, my exes dad passed away and that’s when everything changed. He started drinking more. Our relationship was rocky. I was taking care of our children and his mom. He never realized how I was trying to keep this family together after losing someone so important in our lives. He was drinking every night. I would dread when I would hear the ice maker around 5pm or sometimes 7pm if the kids had sports. He would drink until 11 or midnight. More often when he would watch football or hockey.
Never in a million years did I think I would be married to an alcoholic.
What happened…..is grief so bad that he couldn’t recover from it. He has a family to take care of. That’s what i was focused on. My children were heart broken and all I could do was be there for them. My mother-in-laws heart was heartbroken. I was tyring to be everyone’s support system. Several months later, everything changed….
The Betrayal…..
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When your whole life falls apart you have no other choice but to keep going. I didn’t know what to do. I kept finding betrayal stuff but also had a family to raise. I was numb. Going through the motions of the day. Going out with freinds like nothing was wrong but I didn’t even want to be there. I was talking to some gaming friends outside of gaming. That kept me laughing and kept everything light hearted. During those nights out, I would go to the bathroom and text those friends. And looked forward to getting home and gaming with them to escape my reality for a short time.
2025..the longest year of my life…
I know someone will ask why i waited so long to leave. I don't know the answer to that other then I had to process everything. I needed time to figure everyting out. To make sure I was doing the right thing and looking for answers to help me. Then the day came.. I read a quote that said:
“If your children were in the same situation you are in, what would you tell them to do? That’s where your answer lies.”
November 2025
My ex gets drunk and walks up the stairs. He yells and calls my son an asshole. I hear it and run up the stairs so fast. I told my ex he needs to go to bed. He did. I asked my son what happened and he said he was brushing his teeth and his dad was standing there staring at him so he asked him “what.” That’s it. That’s all it took for a reaction like that. My son was 15. I went downstairs and was watching TV. I hear my ex heading upstair again. I run upstairs. Hes in my son’s room. I tell him to leave and go to bed. He did.
I know at that point I had to leave….
Not only for me but also for them. I deserve respect and so do they. I refuse to be in an alcohol situation again. And my children are seeing this. I don’t know who this man is that I married but he’s no long the man I thought he was. 16 years after I married the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with, I filed for divorce. It took me 4 days to call a lawyer that a friend recommended but once I did, I knew that was the right thing to do.
I refuse to look back… only forward.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I hope that one day my kids will look back and realize that i did this for them. My life wasn’t the only one that got turned upside down but I will always protect them.
From the scared child to the strong woman I’ve become…I broke the cycle. This is where it ends.
