08/10/22
If I could change a few things about parenting teens…
Parenting teens is an age-old art followed by millions around the year. Generation by generation, slight alterations are made to the ways by which children are brought up and mentored. However, the ages between thirteen and nineteen are considered a region of major disregard by parents worldwide. The ‘teen years’ are not only treated as a time when children are given the least attention as they are considered too old to get it but also a period wherein their behaviour is considered reckless and they are considered emotionally weak and unstable. Instead of these years passing in a supportive and understanding environment, teens and parents all around the world dread this period of time. So why not change how it’s done?
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Firstly, a major issue revolving around the parenting of teens is the strain their relationships are put under. Various external factors such as added pressure from the school of grades, the influence of social media and raging hormones lead to a gap in communication and love in the once cherished relationship in a family. It can not be conclusively decided that it is either group to blame; parent or child, however by each of them putting a bit more time into the relationship, amends can be made. A simple discussion revolving around the teen’s interests, or a topic on which both the parent and the teen have similar views can be discussed so that they both feel together and moreover, the child feels respected and in a safe and secure environment. It is common that conversations in households with teens soon turn into debates and then arguments. In order to refrain from arguing, I would suggest bringing up friendly topics on which both the parent and the teen have non-conflicting views. For instance, my dad and I were deeply interested in various sports, most specifically football and F1. As a result of us supporting rival F1 teams, F1 and racing were never a topic of discussion at the dinner table. Instead, as we both supported Manchester City, we would discuss their performance and transfer news and rumours we had heard. Whenever we had these conversations, I felt as if the dinner table was a forum for me to express my views with someone who understood me and thought like me to a large degree.
Another major issue that comes to light for teens is the problem of liberty and independence. Every individual in the world, irrespective of age or gender, wishes to be independent and lead a life of their own where they can make decisions freely. It is a prerequisite in the minds of all teens that once they reach the age of thirteen, they will be given the freedom to do as they wish. They will not be burdened with chores and will not have to partake in tasks common to the household, they will not need to answer to someone and hence not face consequences for their actions, and they will not have to ask for their parents’ permission as they are now their ‘own boss’. It is essential for parents to already communicate to the child before their teen years, what it is like being a teen and the liberties they will receive over the course of the next few years and when. In my house, it was already told and reminded to me from the age of ten that once I am a teen I will get certain liberties such as staying out late, staging up till late and more social media and device time. What really helped was the fact that I knew exactly what to expect and when. My expectations did not exceed the reality of the situation and hence I was content with what I received.
All in all, every child is different. Some of the aforementioned methods may not be applicable for some teens around the world, however, what is essential and will help all is for the parent to create a supportive environment where the child feels protected, safe, and understood. It is the parents’ responsibility to create their house into a home.
