loved you too much, that, I don’t hate you after breaking my heart
It was all started on a random wednesday, then end on a random friday.
Was it my fault or no one’s? I didn’t dare to blame you, cause you just never had a heart for me, all was my fault for considering your actions was feelings, the truth hit me so hard, even when you called me much months later, I would certainly answer, I loved you too much, that, I don’t hate you after all the things you did. After all those tears, till my head hurts, till my throat dried, till my eyes burned.
I pretend that your name doesn’t still make my heart ache, that, certain songs don’t bring me back to you, that, old memories don’t still feel like yesterday,
that I don’t still look for you in places I know you won’t be. Let everyone believe I’ve forgotten you.
Get ash’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
I should’ve hugged you the last time we met, not just hold your hand, not just hugged your hand, not just left a smile before leave, should’ve hugged on that motor bike.
I can’t remember what I wore 2 days ago, but I remember you loved that, butterscotch latte, that, spiciness on your food, that, your excitement when you said I should’ve called you when I’m sad that I’m alone, I remember that you asked me what glasses suited you, I remember you asked me to buy red or maroon clothes so we could match, I remember that you usually throw a request ‘less sugar’ for my coffee, and I remember, that, you never truly loved me.
I used to write his name to test a pen, funny how every pen worked but we don’t. And I wonder did he deleted all of my photos from his phone? Those photos he loved? Those photos he asked?
Whatever we had, can we have it again? Can we have another ‘we’? You and me you said.
I remembered that you wanted to teaches me billiard, guitar, even a small game on a phone. It’s doesn’t matter what we’re gonna do, the matter is, you. My beautiful disaster.
