Notion, 1
The past is bound to be forgotten first.
It's just one of the oldest analogies in the books. A person looking up at the sky and seeing a bird fly freely would then say to himself, "Ah, how nice it would be to fly that freely." Always wanting more than I already hold in my hands. Even though nothing was even mine from the start anyway. But at least, the fact that I could taste them for a while, while being alive, just felt nice.
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Being born in a world where nothing is fair from the start. While holding a piece of candy as my only privilege is though. These could be hyperbolic tho. But, the irony of the thought, “there are always others who have even more unfair choices than me,” is diabolical. Then it struck me. If my problem had been easier than the others, then it's obvious that I’m just weak. A little weakling that almost gave up dreaming.
Dang this makes me chuckle. Teenager me was so optimistic and proud of her dreams. Not this pessimistic and useless twenties. Guess failing too much does crumble my soul a bit. Haha not just a bit tho. And just like the others jerk, I blame my surroundings for my own downfall. If only I could just be solitary in a far away place. Even if that would be so dang lonely. Even if deep down I don't really want that.
Just being on good terms with life sounds good enough. A cozy place. A warm community. A place to laugh and share our thoughts freely. Well, the only place without negative things lingering is not in this world after all. No matter how far I went, if it was still in this world, I would still need my little cranny to be somber and wailing every now and then.
I guess its just like how its always been then. It's not like I have a lot of choices on my hands anyway. All I could do is just walk and felt it. every day. Until the time that walk along side my shoulder bid me farewell.
