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Why Marriage?

2 min readSep 27, 2026

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Let’s start with the idea of spending the rest of your life with one person (unless you’re a Muslim man who follows the Islamic allowance for polygyny). It’s scary. Why?

Options.

You replace a phone when you find a more attractive or more useful model, or when the current one you have no longer serves its purpose; it’s probably broken beyond any repair. You can’t eat the same food every day, even if it’s your favourite junk food and it suddenly became a perfectly healthy option. Your taste buds would eventually yearn for a change. Your taste buds wouldn’t accept it and would yearn for a change. Even though you might be doing your dream job, you always look for a hobby or a getaway. You do retire and change paths. Options exist even in Gods.

Give a human endless options that they can afford at any point in time, why would they settle for one forever? It’s a sea of life, with a lot left unexplored.

Change.

Was I always of this thought? No. I fell in love twice. Each time, they meant the world to me, but a couple of years after the breakup or distance, I didn’t feel the same way about them anymore. I guess we move on, or “change”?

You learn new things about yourself frequently, and you’re sure to learn new things about your partner too things you may or may not agree with. And that’s a scary prospect. How do you spend the rest of your life with someone who’s still exploring themselves?

It’s unfair to commit when change is constant and inevitable. I’m not against commitment. Maybe I’m against the idea that commitment must always mean permanence.

Freedom.

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Something gets stripped away, at least partly. You might find the right partner and still have some of it, but surely not all of it. And not everyone ends up with a partner who accommodates the freedom they want. You can’t afford to randomly quit your job and decide to pursue your dream in your mid-30s; you have responsibilities. The money you’ve worked hard to earn can’t always be spent the way you want anymore you have to manage it

Every decision you make has two brains now, not one. And that’s not a choice.

Sex.

Well, if you get it you get it.

Reproduction.

Perhaps the strongest practical reason to get married is family. You want your bloodline to continue, you marry. You want children, you most definitely marry so the kids have solid parents to look up to.

Unconditional love does not exist unless you’re a dog. Humans, instead, are given the sixth sense ,the ability to think, question and change their minds. Marriage, hence, is a flawed concept, or if drafted more carefully, maybe our expectation that marriage must be permanent is flawed, I believe; one that has been pressed upon us generation after generation. But I feel my generation has started to ask: why do we treat marriage as uniquely permanent when almost everything else in human life is allowed to change?

I’m open to having my mind changed. So, if you disagree, change my mind.

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Santhosh Vicky
Santhosh Vicky

Written by Santhosh Vicky

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Thinking out loud