I am her
I’ve been there
I am here
I am her — so, I can relate -
And — I can’t judge
But boy do I try
And get frustratingly annoyed,
Angry at them and then at myself
And upset with my Father (God) –
while also, in awe of His mercy and grace.
We didn’t mean to be here, Lord — in this space
Of chaos and turmoil and deceit,
Sometimes, we can’t even breathe
Ourselves into clarity — pray our way out of the desert,
See the wilderness for the trees, appreciate the rest –
When it comes in spurts or rivers, lakes or waterfalls
We just cry out sometimes silently weepy –
Other times filling our valleys with our tears.
We had hoped for more precious milestones –
And what we’ve realized instead -
is your presence in the present,
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The here and now, the oh my God did you see that –
Sunset, sunrise, ray of light, deep breath, smile at me,
Baby laugh, family love, sisterhood, part-time victories,
New learned skills, answered prayers, steady rain, good food,
Good growth, and a real appreciation for what really matters.
We thank God through the disasters we didn’t start –
But could not seem to stop either, we thank you God.
We’ve been there, we were there, now we’re here, so, we can relate –
And choose not to judge but to love and give what will last — the gospel,
empathetically, in your name –
because even in our mess,
You were shrewdly slow
and intentionally intentional,
about the way you drew us in
and built us up in your light and love
so that in our maturity — we too could be the
body of Christ, the priesthood, the charitable church,
your creative handiwork, a tapestry of wonder,
the fullness of God — for eternity,
accepting redemption for all of our regrets
and sad tears — from when we were here,
on earth but even now — EVEN NOW,
we are with you in heaven.
