Perhaps not
On trust, commitment, and the possibilities of a life I do not yet fully understand.
Every now and then, a question resurfaces in my mind.
What if I don’t want to get married?
It is not the first time I have considered this possibility, yet the question carries a different weight now.
I once envisioned a life with a partner — building a family and raising children with the values I hold dear. But various experiences have led me to re-examine that vision.
I have encountered relationships that appear fine from the outside, yet have hidden struggles. I have heard of commitments left unfulfilled, witnessed individuals who hold a role within a family without fully embracing their responsibilities, and experienced firsthand how trust is not always treated with the care it deserves.
This has led me to wonder: are we sometimes so preoccupied with pursuing or maintaining a certain status that we lose sight of the values that should form the very foundation of a relationship?
Get Erma Kusumawardani’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Of course, these experiences cannot be used to judge everyone.
I still believe that marriage is a noble responsibility. For this very reason, I have come to realize that building a family is about much more than simply having someone to share one’s life with.
It requires honesty to be upheld, loyalty to be nurtured, and responsibilities that extend far beyond the act of getting married.
Perhaps I do still wish to marry.
Perhaps I simply do not wish to share my life with someone who would make me compromise the values I hold so dear.
Or perhaps I am learning to accept that life does not always have to unfold exactly as I once imagined.
I do not know yet.
If I do marry one day, I hope the decision comes from genuine awareness and readiness — not merely from age or social pressure.
But if I do not, I hope to still lead a meaningful life without feeling as though something is missing.
Perhaps I haven’t lost the desire to marry after all. I’ve simply begun to question whether a marriage is worth fighting for if the very values upon which it is built must be sacrificed.




