Learn from water
144/300. Be formless.
We are mostly concerned about outgrowing others or not but rarely about outgrowing ourselves. We worry that someone is no longer in our 'league' because we’d outgrown them. We worry about dealing with our growth and them. We worry about not being perceived in a certain way due to this.
But very rarely do we consider that we can actually outgrow ourselves too. And I get it.
Outgrowing yourself is basically choosing to be uncomfortable because growth is anything but comfortable.
Our identity is comfortable. Once we become known for something we begin to build a life around it. I have lived this life so well I understand it like I understand the back of my palm. It’s held me back in so many ways and made me unable to point at a particular thing I’m building.
At first these identities help us navigate life, they hold us by the hands to get through the cross road but overtime it becomes a cage. We get attached to a version of ourselves. Because there is comfort in consistency. Safety in knowing you’re this person.
People know what to expect from you. You know what to expect from yourself. But life has a funny way of changing the rules. The coping mechanism that protected you at 15 may isolate you at 25. The mindset that helped you survive university may hold you back in your career. The version of you that solved yesterday’s problems may struggle with tomorrow’s opportunities.
Unfortunately, many of us are still stuck trying to force the old versions of ourselves into new seasons of life. We mistake consistency for growth and wear it like a badge of honor
Words like; “I’ve always been like this." "That’s just who I am." "I don’t change." becomes admirable and a time piece.
But unfortunately we rob ourselves of growth. Of the actual things that work. Because there is a difference between having values and refusing to evolve.
A tree that never bends eventually breaks and so does a person who never adapts.
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Take Water for example.
Water is formless and will adapt wherever you place it. In a bottle? It becomes a bottle. In a bowl? It takes the shape of a bowl. In a nylon? It adapts to that nylon. Wherever it goes, wherever it is spilled, wherever it pools. It adapts. It takes shape of it’s environment.
We should take some lesson from Water. The world belongs to people who can adjust.
I was speaking to my mom recently and she mentioned how she did something in the capacity she currently was. She probably would not do the same thing if she was in another position. But she was in this particular one and she had to adapt.
Every major transition in life requires adaptation. Starting university. Getting married. Losing a job. Becoming a parent. Leading a team. Starting a business. Every one of those experiences demands a different version of you.
And that is why you can’t stay rigid. You can’t be the same person you were as a singleton when you’re married. People change but most importantly you should change.
Some behaviors and mindsets will no longer work in certain seasons.
You must accept adaptability whether you like it or not or it would be difficult to navigate certain things.
During my IT last year, I remember the radiography interns had another method(s) for taking X-rays but our chief radiograher, an old woman who had been doing same thing for over 40years was so rigid in her ways and wouldn’t accept new methods. I could vividly see how much discomfort some of the patients were in and how much better things would have turned out if she wasn’t so rigid.
Imagine it as a business and imagine losing so many customers because you chose rigidity over formlessness.
Water has no identity crisis. Water does not argue with reality. It adapts to it. It does not lose itself by changing shape. It simply responds to the environment.
Learn from Water.
Authenticity is not staying the same. It is not rigidity. It is moreso allowing yourself to evolve as life evolved round you.
The version of you that got you here may not keep you here. Adapt!
