spinning out
— (of control) ZIPZIPZIPZIPZIP
Sometimes I’m trying to outsmart my mind into thinking that I’m not too invested in stuff so things would go smoothly and not disappoint me later. And as much as I saw many relatable social media posting about this feeling, still, it’s bugging me, is this normal? I’m not so sure what doubt me, but I think a mental check is necessary.
Like for example, recently I made a plan about going all in in ramadan and I just can’t control my brain from going vroom 100 km/h of how things might go; a little bit of doing this and that, et voila! A perfect agenda (that I failed to do because somehow life has countless variable that I didn’t put into account)
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME
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Or not? What if I have selective memories for things that just doesn’t work. come to think about it as I’m writing this I don’t remember many thing that goes smoothly.
Welp, my thoughts are spiraling down.
I don’t want to be that person who has selective memories, I want to remember things equally, objectively, in 3rd person view to be the perfect-self — if that’s the correct mentality.
Or maybe not? Because a person doesn’t have to be perfect to be loved. Flaws beautify. Cracks are where the light slips in.
Aaand things don’t have to end with instant conclusions.
I’m out.
