Who Am I?
Part Two: The Girl Who Aced Everything And Felt Nothing
I have been performing confidence for as long as I can remember.
I was just never in a room that noticed.
Because when you’re the youngest in every room, confidence isn’t a feeling — it’s a survival mechanism.
And then I met someone who didn’t need to perform at all. Someone so completely at ease with who he is that standing next to him made me wonder — did I ever truly feel what confidence really was?
He doesn’t need to perform. Not ever. And I have been performing since I was old enough to be the youngest in every room (which happened more often than you’d think!)
Because performance used to be enough.
The thing is — I have always been more than good. The results have said so, every single time, in every single room. Top of the class. Never missed a deadline. Always showed up. Always delivered.
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But somewhere between achieving and believing, I got lost.
I never learned how to value it. To celebrate it. To let it actually land.
I have spent my whole life collecting proof that I am enough. And somehow, still, not believing a word of it.
Meeting my now-fiance recently turned the lights on in a room that I had unconsciously switched off.
And what those lights revealed was already there — a girl who forgot there was something real underneath the performance.
So, who am I this time?
I am someone who feels behind. But not in the way you’d think.
And maybe that’s where I start.
Not by achieving more. Not by proving more. But by finally, quietly, choosing to believe what has always been true.
I’ll let you know how that goes.
