Letter Days
Sometimes she wants to feel a little bit stronger. Some days require extra muscle to get through. Those days, she throws on a letterman jacket. Its arms are too long and it’s almost never the right temperature outside, but she wears it anyway. It reminds her of a time when she was more, when she had the world in the palm of her hand. It also reminds her of pain, of walking across a bed of nails in the name of self-growth. So she wears it, to remind herself that she can. These days are letter days.
On letter days, she stands up a little straighter. She doesn’t carry a bag, just her letter on her person and owns the day. These days, everyone knows her name. She has it on the back of her letter, after all. She walks with a pep in her step, earbuds in, country music turned up. These are the days she wears a perpetual smile that she offers to anyone who looks her way and even those who don’t. She offers help even when not asked, and she makes plans with people she hasn’t seen in ages.
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If she wears it to dinner, she acts like a teenager again. She can’t help it. Being in her letterman reminds her of the happy high school days of homecoming, prom, and everything in between. It reminds her of first dates and falling headfirst into someone’s eyes. So, in a room full of people, she focuses on one. She giggles. She glances. She repeats. And usually, the boy realizes. And then, in the midst of repeating, they lock eyes and she blushes. Because she can’t help it. She’s not brave enough to approach, but she can recognize beauty when it sits the next table over. She especially won’t approach if the person of interest is with a group of his friends. She’s confident but not at that level. Not yet.
On letter days, walking home at night is a time of reflection. Hands shoved in her pockets, she walks pensively, thinking on the day while also watching those around her. Walking more slowly, she notices details she usually doesn’t, like when the sprinklers turn on, the names of the buildings she passes, and the faces of who she sees. Her eyes are a little bit brighter, her ears a little more open, and her stance a little bit more relaxed. Because she feels the effect of the letter. She remembers she is worthy of it, that she had a goal once and she was successful. She remembers her glory days, and her glory days shine from within her on these letter days.
Song of the Moment: “Sunny and 75”- Joe Nichols
