Lovers & Friends
Can you truly become friends with someone you consider a lover? Is this a dream that can come true?
Of course you can…and of course they do, even if you are unaware. I’d like to think that married couples are not only lovers but very best friends. I’ve witnessed it. My parents got married twice, then divorced, and got married again. I won’t let anybody tell me that relationships don’t work. In my overly educated opinion, relationships fail only when the people in them refuse to do the work. One common misconception I’ve found from the animal kingdom are the Emperor Penguins. I’ve heard more than once that penguins “mate for life.” This isn’t the whole truth. Penguins mate with one partner for the mating season only. The following year, they’re on to the next.
I have heard many complaints from men and women related to the “situationships” of modern day dating. I have my fair share of horror stories from the dating scene. Due to my current circumstances and the way I lived my life prior to my newly rediscovered self-awareness, I’ve had to rebuild a lot of bridges, and most of them were with ex-boyfriends. I remained in contact with most of my exes, even after some knock down, drag out blowouts…but the rebuilding of the trust and respect took a while to happen. As they seem to want to be around or in contact with me, and I’m cool with it…I do the work to make sure our relationships remain copectic.
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Love comes in so many shapes, forms, and fashions, it’s literally unbelievable. I have experienced some unfathomable love in my life, and it makes me a little sad that people generally don’t understand that true love actually exists…and that it can happen in a moment. A moment in time so short that a passerby can fall in love with someone and don’t even know why or fully comprehend it. I have had to become very mindful of the way I love myself, in addition to how I show my love to everyone else. After all, love and hate are two sides of the same coin.
I love myself deeply and I’m in love with the way that I dream. I call myself an “ultimate dreamer” because all of my dreams are lucid. Every single one. During the day, I have what one would call premonitions or omens, and at night, when I close my eyes in the dark and am totally relaxed, they play on the back of my eyelids like my brain is a movie projector. A few individuals close to me dream exactly the same way, but don’t seem to have researched phenomenology like I have. Phenomenology is my life’s philosophy, and it’s just like it sounds…the study of phenomenon. I study, very explicitly, the relationships I have with people who say that they love me. I have, more than once, experienced “love at first sight” and most of those people I have experienced this phenomenon with are still a significant part of my life.
I have had to become very cognizant of the words I use because of how I love myself and others because, believe it or not, I can only tell the truth. I can lie by omission, sure, but if I tell someone a bold-faced lie, it shows not only on my face, but radiates in my body language and in my aura. The motormouth had to learn to shut the hell up and let my family and friends make their choices without my well-informed and somewhat jaded opinions. But when you get a leg up because of how you dream as a sign of the times, how would you handle it?
Would you spill the beans or plant the seeds? To be my own lover and very best friend, this Venus fly trap decided to go back to being largely unseen…unless it’s for marketing purposes of course. My truth is like an AK-47 and my aim is true. The ones who do answer my calls are largely unbothered by me, and that’s exactly how I like it. All I can do is share my truth appropriately and continue to be me, despite any and all adversity.
Manifest destiny in real life…maybe you should give it a try. Let me know what happens.
