Forgiveness
Anyone who knows me fairly well knows that I am sometimes someone who can hold a grudge. It is funny when you think about it, as I grew up in a religious household and that was the biggest lesson to be taught: forgiveness!
I guess in the last year and a half, the trauma that was experienced in my life contributed to some changes in my attitude towards forgiveness. I do find some forgiveness is okay, but there are attitudes that it is something expected and I do not necessarily believe in that.
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I trimmed my tree of dead branches since everything that happened to me last year. Cutting off dead branches that no longer serve you gives you spaces where new growth can take place. Small sprigs of life, lush and free leaves, can break forth from the dead space and give the tree new life, new vibrancy, a new way to keep growing towards the sun.
There was always a weird feeling for me that there was some sort of expectancy in the act of forgiveness. Be the bigger person. Be the better person. Yet, when being wronged, I find it is odd that the burden of forgiving is placed on the wronged person, instead of the wronged person getting apologies from the person we are supposed to forgive. Forgiveness does not always follow an apology; there are times when there is nothing from that person. However, forgiveness is expected.
I do think forgiveness is a good thing. I do think it can alleviate heaviness on someone’s shoulders when you give away the responsibility of carrying that hurt and expecting it to be healed by someone else’s sorry. I just feel forgiveness should be attained after adequately working through the process of accepting we cannot change others and we are only responsible for our own actions and reactions.
Forgiveness can be a beautiful thing, but only when it is given freely in good faith and good heart, not when it is expected.
