Love
This might be the most universal language known to man. I think from a young age we are all programmed to find love. In whatever form it may be. We are taught we are supposed to love our parents and family, to love other human beings, to find true love and settle down for that picture perfect dream life that we see in movies, books , and entertainment. Depending on how you grew up or your experiences with others, it can be a tumultuous topic to dive into. According to Kendra Cherry, “Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust. Love can vary in intensity and can change over time. It is associated with a range of positive emotions, including happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria, but it can also result in negative emotions such as jealousy and stress.” (Cherry).
I find love rather complicated, but simple at the same time. My journey in love certainly was a winding road and it was not until I was in my late 20’s that I found the kind of love that I felt would last a life time. We will celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary on November 11th of 2021. This was after two major relationships in my young adult life. The first one lasted several years in which time I endured domestic violence and ended up taking my infant son on a Greyhound bus to get away from my abuser. The second I ended up getting divorced from after we stopped working as a couple after we got married. We still co-parent and are still friends. At that point I was not ever going to look for love again. Yet, here we are.
Not to be cliche, but it was really when I resigned myself to the fact that I did not want love anymore … that it fell into my lap. Even in all that, I had to learn to love myself before I could make a marriage work. That is also cliche, but it is the truth for my own story.
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It is not like it is in the movies. It can have moments like that, but love is hard work. It is dedication and an active choice to love another person with little to no conditions. It is proactive and not just something that happens in the background. Love is like a beautiful flower: we see the colorful petals and the rich green of the leaves and stem, yet underneath is an intricate system of roots that is supported by the rain and the surrounding earth. To me that paints the picture of what love really is: sprouted from a seed, ever growing and going through changes, reaching for the sun’s light, needing the rain (which can represent the trials and tribulations of life) and the grounding of the earth to let the roots grow into. I cannot think of a better picture to show how love can work, whether it is romantic or platonic or in a family. It is the same coin.
We need to use the picture and remember we should always be planting the seeds of love in the world, letting the rain of the dark times nourish the soil so that the roots of this love and grow and feel supported. Maybe one day we can cover the planet in blossoms.
Sources cited:
Cherry, Kendra. “Is Love Biological or Is It a Cultural Phenomenon?” Verywell Mind, 2 Aug. 2020, www.verywellmind.com/what-is-love-2795343.
