Member-only story
I Became Selfish When I Turned 50
Why choosing yourself IS your highest purpose
“You’re being selfish!”
When I stood my ground, expressed my opinion, or made choices for myself that others didn’t agree with, people have called me selfish. In fact, many times.
What is selfishness? And is it always negative?
For the first half of my life, I lived under unwritten contracts with other people. And I’ll bet you have too…
The terms are simple: You’re expected to be selfless to have value. Putting others first.
So you pour into your career, your children, your partner, and your community. Fulfilling your boss’ expectations, sacrificing for the kids, compromising with your spouse, etc.
And if you fail do those things (even sometimes), others can judge you as not a good parent, not a supportive partner, or a non-promotable employee.
You spend your life checking your own desires at the door. It’s selfish to choose what you want; you must make others around you happy first, right?
Then you hit your 50s. And beliefs change.
By the time I reached midlife (age 47 to be exact), I had begun seeing selfishness differently.
