Curating
Few behaviors are as important as curating: the careful selection of everything from your partner to your houseplant.
Romantic partner. How does s/he score on sexual compatibility, interpersonal compatibility, economic viability, lack of fatal flaw, and that ineffable thing called love?
Friends. Spend more time with people who bring out the best in you. Cut time with friends and, yes, family, who don’t.
Housing. A high-status address is rarely worth it. You can use the savings between a fancy and a just okay neighborhood to far greater advantage.
College and graduate school: Brand name is overrated. Yes, budding researchers should aim for top research universities — They’re the main source of grants and cutting-edge research. Other students usually get more useful training at places that focus more on practical instruction.
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Cars. A car should be viewed as an appliance: something that will get you here to there reliably. There’s nothing pleasurable about having to take your car in for repair, let alone standing on the side of the road waiting for the tow truck. On the reliability dimension, Toyota and Subaru stand above the rest. And they require less frequent, less expensive maintenance.
Electrical stuff, from audio to appliances. Stay with mainstream quality brands: Whirlpool, Sony, Samsung, etc. Generally, their middle-of-the-line models provide the most bang for the buck and are the bestsellers so by the time you buy it, the kinks are more likely to have been worked out.
Clothes. The people you should care to impress will be less impressed if you choose designer-label stuff — It speaks of excessive spending in the vain hope of impressing. Do you really think that thoughtful people are impressed by a $300 logo on your jeans’ ass or by a Rolex? Mainstream clothes can look great and hold up as well as you need them to — You’ll tire it before it wears out and if it does and you still love it, buy another one — You’ll still save a lot.
Restaurants: If you’re honest with yourself, the locals’ favorite modest restaurants yield more pleasure than La Frou Frou — Do you really need a waiter to put your napkin on your lap so you don’t spill your Mussels Marinieres on your crotch? Don’t piss away money on the hip. Price and pleasure don’t necessarily coincide. That’s triply true of wine.
Plants. Admittedly, plants are less important than the previous items but they’re a serious hobby of mine so consider these. For indoors: golden pothos and parlor palm. Outdoor: Japanese Maple Tamukeyama, Viola Morpho, and for low-frost climates: Washington Orange, New River Bougainvillea, and Camellia Button & Bows.
Wise curation — a less off-putting word these days than “evaluation” — can greatly improve your life, whichever word you choose.
I read this aloud on YouTube.
Marty Nemko is an award-winning career and personal coach, and author of 34 books including How to Do Life. You can reach Marty at mnemko@gmail.com
