The Shamer
A fictional short-short story
I’m Laura, a junior at Happy Vale High School. I hate school because it’s boring and because too many kids are mean and hypocritical.
In school, we’re taught to not commit microaggressions — like asking where someone’s from, let alone calling someone “illegal” rather than “undocumented.” To me, the more accurate term is illegal but such “microaggressions” seems trivial compared with what I call, big-aggressions.
Let me tell you what I do about those. I shame people who commit big-aggressions by posting their name and their offense on Instagram. I use a pen name, Shamer, because I’m afraid of getting beaten up or getting the 3C’s: Censured, Censored, or Canceled. I’m particularly scared of Missy Carmichael — She’s a computer genius and I’m afraid she’ll somehow find out who I am, and the kids would kill me.
Here’s what I’ve posted so far.
I started with hypocrisy: “Tania Stubbs lectures everyone to be green but when no one’s looking, throws the compostable remains of her lunch into the landfill bin. Far worse, she drives a gas-guzzling Dodge Charger!”
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“Kids roll their eyes when someone says they’re straight. Have we so swallowed our teachers and counselors genuflecting to LGBTQIA+?, especially trans?”
“Gina is overweight and although she’s nice and, more important, smart, the ‘in’ kids won’t sit at her table in the cafeteria. I overheard Mary Phillipson joke, “If you sit next to Gina, you’ll get to be a pig like her.” The other girls giggled: Colleen McTavish, LaTandra Jones, and Alix Svenson (She changed Ali to Alix to sound cool and gender ambiguous — transparent pandering.”)
“Anthony Bang makes himself the captain for pickup basketball and because he doesn’t like David Green the brainiac, he refuses to pick David, even though David is a good player.”
Anthony Thomas deals weed, which is bad enough but he pressures nerdy kids to use it: ‘You’re such a dweeb.’”
Russell DeWitt brags that he pressures his girlfriend to go all the way. She hasn’t yet but he told me, ‘I’ll get her. Bet on it.’”
“Heaven Jackson is far from heavenly. She cheats on tests, had someone write her college application essays, is among the worst bullies, but won class president — I think because she played ‘cards.’ Plus, she dresses silly-fancy. Her opponent, Jane Michaels, was so much more deserving. Oh and Heaven got into Harvard, free ride. I want to puke.”
Speaking of college application essays, I think I’ll use what I’ve written to you for mine.
I read this aloud on YouTube.
Dr. Marty Nemko is an award-winning career and personal coach, and author of 32 books, including Starting Out Stories. You can reach Marty at mnemko@comcast.net
