1996
okshenyah
There are quite a few first moments that have caused lasting effects on my life. Some terrifying, some hilarious, some remarkable, and some amazing. I appreciate a lot of those first moments because they have created the soundtrack of my life. And like any great soundtrack, I keep them on repeat. When I fell in love with hip hop, I was seven years old. I can remember hearing the beat drop to Ain’t No N*gga coming through the car’s speakers as we rode through the streets of Queens. Now, I was seven; I did not know what anything meant, but the chorus was melodic, and I would sing it back to myself as I played in my grandparents’ backyard. It really was captivating. I do not recall hearing rap music before then, I think my earliest memories of hearing songs on the radio were of R&B, but this was different. The rapper on the song made an imprint on my musical psyche, and I have been a fan ever since. It only fits on this day; I share some of my other first moments surrounding the one and only Jay-Z.
Growing up, I did not own CDs. The first CD I owned was a gift I was given on my birthday in 5th grade. Only two people showed up at my birthday party, my friend Angelina and her younger sister. I know her sister was a necessary tag along, but I appreciated them both for coming. Angelina had brought me Sammie’s debut album From the Bottom to the Top. I did not grow up with a lot of money, and buying items like CDs was not a priority, so this was a special moment in my life. I was on my way to add to the blueprint of memories of my life.
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Fast forward to high school. As I got older, my adoration for Jay-Z grew. He became a symbol of a simpler time in my life. One filled with hot summer days playing with my cousins at my grandparents’ house in Queens. Enjoying Mister Softee or Italian ices, depending on who came to the block first. Walking to the corner store on the avenue to buy snacks. A carefree life. Now my birthday isn’t always the most celebratory time for me. People born late in the year can sometimes be an afterthought. Especially when your birthday falls close to a holiday. I never wanted to show how excited I was for my birthday because I would get sad when people didn’t show up for me in a big way.My expectations for a party or a gift were non-existent. So when my birthday was approaching Freshman year, I could not imagine the fantastic present coming my way. Ashley was the true GOAT that year. Not only did she buy me The Black Album, but she also got me a walkman to listen to it. Let me just say I was devastated when Jay-Z announced his retirement. I was utterly crushed. I know that was dramatic, but I was 13/14 years old. Who was not dramatic at that time? I could not wait to get home to listen to his album. I literally counted the minutes until the last bell rang for school to end. Appreciate the people who notice the little details and needs in your life. Ashely knew I would need the walkman to play the CD. She went above and beyond to put a smile on my face. An incredibly thoughtful gesture.
Thank goodness I lived across the street from the school. I ran home! Opened my CD and read the booklet that was included. All the details on the production and the tracklist were included. I popped the CD in and zoned out. Tears rolled down my face with joy and sadness. Joy because I was enamored with Jay-Z and sadness because I thought this was the last time I would hear any new music from him. The end of an era. An actual no skip album. Well, I have to admit, I used to skip track 7. At the time, I did not appreciate it. Years later, I listened to the a cappella version of the song and was so mad that I had been skipping it all this time. The Black Album was the soundtrack for my freshman year in high school, and for that, I am forever grateful.
To be such a huge fan (stan), you would think I went to every concert of Jay-Z. Sadly that was not the case. Finances never allowed me to attend, and I never was lucky enough to win tickets to a show. So I settled for car rides with my dad and brothers, listening to his albums front to back. We did car karaoke before the t.v. show. The year is 2013, and I finally would have my chance to go to my first show. To say I was thrilled would not even come close to the emotions I felt. The show was scheduled during a really rough time for my family, and I was being a little selfish for still going.
I missed so many opportunities to see him live; I could not go back on a commitment now. After work, I rushed to the mall to find something reasonably priced to wear. This was my time to shine. I was running late and rushed home to get ready. The lock would not budge as I pushed my key through the door. I was confused and a little panicked. My mom was almost down the street when I frantically called her back to help me out. When she returned, she noticed a letter on the door. Of all the coincidences to occur the same day, I was about to experience the most anticipated concerts of my life my entire family was being evicted. Needless to say, I did not go to the show, and cold tears streamed down my face yet again, this time because of pure shock. I was so close to a dream come true.
Five years, it only took five whole years for me to finally get my chance to see Jay-Z in concert. I was in disbelief that I would be able to actually attend. Even during the car ride to the arena, I had to pinch myself. The impossible was now possible. I was surrounded by my brothers and best friend, Corrine. We were really on our way to attend the 4:44 tour. Butterflies filled my stomach. I would not believe this was really happening until we sat in our seats. As soon as the lights dropped and the music began to play, I paused. Looking across the row, I stared at my brothers next to me. We were here altogether, leaving out a long-deserved dream. A win I will never forget.
Almost three years later, another remarkable moment of first would occur. I would be working in a place where the stars were always aligned, and I would soon cross paths with the incomparable Hov. I was this close to leaving work early that day, but that never happened. Instead, I was scheduled to work late into the night on a freezing day. It was October, and I was trying to decide the best time to leave to avoid the inevitable traffic jam. Little did I know that my encounter was happening in a matter of moments. First, his best friend came in, and I just knew he was to follow. I tried to breathe calmly because I was relaxed. I was collected. I was professional. I was a mess on the inside. I held it together long enough to briefly meet the man who made me fall in love with hip hop 22 years ago. This moment was so special because it came when I was still unsure the decisions I made were aligning for my benefit. I wanted to rap my favorite song of his, tell him how much his music was the center of so many happy memories in my life, let him know how much I defended his name when people tried to debate me that he was not the best to ever do it.
I settled for a hello.
As I get older, I try not to idolize people, but I could never deny the role in which Hov played in my formative years. A true icon and legend. I appreciate him being the foundation of so many firsts throughout my life.
Happy Hov Day!
