Be Fruitful
Symone Saaid
Being intentional with decisions that affect my life has proven more difficult as of late. I try to align my life goals with my purpose, but that is hard when you find yourself unsure of your purpose. Am I leading an authentic life? Am I tuning my spirit to truly hear from Allah? Or have I gone after passions that are satisfying to my flesh? There are too many ways for me to mess this thing up, and I have no intention of looking back at my life and stubbornly choking out a sigh of relief. I want to feel whole and rested. Not exasperated in desperation to say, “See see, I have done it.”
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I am content with my life’s direction, to a degree. I am genuinely proud of obtaining my book deal by being unapologetic and transparent. I can tell stories about people that matter without a topcoat. My characters can breathe, evolve, and atone for the past if they choose to. But there is so much more for me to exam beyond my writing. The relationships I maintain have taken a backseat, including the most important — the one I have with myself.
I am not ready to share yet, but I have been searching deeper within my faith to discover the areas of my life that are unclean and forgotten. You know the parts of your life that you clean around. When was the last time you moved your refrigerator or oven to deep clean? Exactly. You cannot recall. But you probably wipe around daily. Those short-term fixes keep everything in order just enough. I can no longer sustain that type of commitment. There is more work to be done.
