Life Lately…
A moving Lady Will One Day Meet Her Something…
It’s been a while since I wrote on here and honestly, I haven’t been in that phase, and I didn’t want to force it.
Quite a number of people have reached out to ask if I’m okay, and I am very okay, thank you very much! I really appreciate the emails and WhatsApp messages. It means a lot to know that people notice when I’m quiet and care enough to check in.
As much as I enjoy doing my monthly rundowns, I just didn’t feel up to writing in September. I had things going on, things I was learning, things I was enjoying, and things I was trying to figure out, but I just didn’t feel like putting any of it into words.
But today, as I was taking a walk, I brought out my phone and started jotting things down. Before I knew it, I was home, sitting beside my car and writing and I thought, well, look who is writing again! Maybe this is how it was always supposed to happen, no pressure, no plan, just me taking a walk and finding my way back you know.
So what’s been happening in my little corner of the worlddddd?
For starters, I started a new role exploring Data and AI Governance, and omo, what a journey it has been! It’s quite different from where I’m coming from, and there has been SO MUCH unlearning and relearning. At first, I struggled a bit because, naturally, I’m trying to understand new concepts, figure out how things work and get comfortable in an environment that’s different from what I’m used to.
You know that feeling when you are used to knowing what you are doing, and suddenly you are the person asking questions, trying to connect the dots and taking a little longer to understand things? Yes, that was me and probably still me to be honest. And the way I am yea, I want to know what exactly I’m doing, understand it properly and be able to contribute meaningfully. So imagine me entering a new role and not knowing everything immediately.
To make matters worse, there were people (out of love btw) who made me feel like I had made the wrong decision. And for a while, I actually started questioning myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have moved. Maybe I should have stayed where I was. Maybe this, maybe that. But at some point, I had to block out the noise and remind myself why I made the move in the first place.
I also came across something that said something along the lines of, just move. Within, outside, wherever. Move, and you won’t regret it. And now, with this trend going around on social media about how a moving lady or man will one day meet his/her something, I can’t help but laugh because, honestly, there is some sense in it. A moving lady will one day meet her job. Her opportunity. Her community. Her next big break. Her people. Her whatever it is she’s been praying for.
You get the gist sha….
Sometimes, you can spend so much time thinking, planning, analysing and trying to make sure you get everything right that you end up staying in one place for too long. Meanwhile, some of the things you’re looking for might only become clear after you take the first step. Now, does this mean every move will be smooth? Absolutely not. See me that moved and entered a role where I’m having to learn so many new things! But at least I’m moving, learning and discovering things about myself that I probably wouldn’t have discovered if I’d stayed where I was.
And speaking of learning, let me tell you something.
There was a time I was complaining to my friend about how much I was struggling to settle into the role. I was trying to understand everything, get things done, contribute and basically find my feet. I think I was putting too much pressure on myself to figure everything out almost immediately. And my friend said something that has stayed with me. He said, “Esther, the problem is that you want to start flying. You just got this role. You’ll rest, crawl, then walk before flying.” The way that statement calmed me down! Because why was I trying to fly when I had barely landed in the role? Why was I expecting myself to understand everything in one day? Who sent me?
But honestly, he was right. I had been so focused on where I wanted to be that I wasn’t giving myself enough room to be where I was. I wanted to know everything, understand everything and be good at everything NOW. And sometimes that’s just not how it works. You have to learn. You have to ask questions. You have to make mistakes, correct them and try again. You have to give yourself the opportunity to become good at something. And sometimes, you need a friend to remind you that you just started and nobody is asking you to fly yet. So, I’m taking things one day at a time and gradually finding my feet.
This role has also been stretching me in ways I didn’t anticipate, especially when it comes to soft skills. Before now, I had never really had to prepare PowerPoint presentations and make presentations the way I’m doing now. Somehow, I have found myself doing exactly that. I’m learning to communicate better, build confidence, present my ideas and do things that would have intimidated me before. I’m still very much a work in progress, but I can see myself growing, and that makes me really happy.
And the people? Ah! The people are amazing. I am grateful for the people I get to work with. My boss is genuinely one of the kindest people I have had the privilege of working with. I’m sorry, but if you think you have a good boss, have you met mine? I’m so grateful that I get to learn under his leadership. He makes you feel important. He ends meetings with, “Thank you, guys. I’m proud of the work you’re doing,” and when it’s time to correct you, he corrects you in love. He also fights for you when it’s required. He will never throw you under the bus too.
Do you know how much difference it makes to work with someone who can tell you what you’re doing wrong without making you feel like you’re the problem? Someone who challenges you but still makes you feel capable of doing better? I don’t take that for granted at all. Thank God for good leaders. I really mean that and may we be good leaders when the time comes.
So, yes, I’m learning a lot, and although it hasn’t been the easiest transition, I’m grateful for it. I’m learning about my work, but I’m also learning patience, confidence and how to be comfortable not knowing everything. Apparently, before flying, you must first learn how to crawl. Who knew?
So you know I love to read books. But this year, certifications decided to deal with me. I had to stop reading novels from January because I was busy preparing for exams. My last exam was in August, and I thought that once I was done, I’d immediately return to my books. LMAO. I struggled ehhhh! I don’t know how to explain it, but even though I wanted to read, I just couldn’t settle into it. My Kindle was also missing at some point, but that’s a story for another day. Turns out, I’d left it in my brother-in-law’s car. Thank God for discovery!
Anyway, two weeks ago, I finally picked it up and started reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. Immediately I finished that book, I went quiet and went for a walk because WHAT DID I JUST READ?! I was ANGRY. PISSSSSSSSSED, actually. Why do people have to suffer like that? Why must life be so cruel to some people? And MARIAM? Nahhh. I need a minute.
I won’t say too much in case you haven’t read the book, but that story is staying with me for sure. It was heartbreaking, infuriating and, in many ways, educative. I learned so much about Afghanistan and its history and the experiences of women living through circumstances most of us can barely imagine and I picked up a few new words too. It’s one of those books that leaves you with more than a story. You start thinking about the world, about suffering, about friendship, and about the things people endure simply because of the circumstances into which they were born. That book really left me with so many feelings that I didn’t even know what to do with myself after finishing it. I was genuinely upset.
The following day, I watched a movie a friend recommended, Love of Your Life, on Prime. Another emotionally triggering experience, by the way, but I loved it! There were things in the story that resonated with me, and I saw myself in the main character and I could see why my friend had recommended it.
After watching it, I immediately started another book by my favourite authorrrrrrr. If you’ve been reading my articles for a while, you probably already know who that is. The book is A Love of Convenience, and omo, Ezioma is PISSING ME OFF! I’m only halfway through, so let me not talk too much. I’ll come back when I’m done because, at this point, I have things to say.
I’m genuinely happy to be reading again. I didn’t realise how much I missed it until I started doing it again. There’s something about getting lost in a good book, having imaginary conversations with characters and getting emotionally invested in the lives of people who don’t even exist. Imagine me being angry with Ezioma as if she knows me personally. lool. Anyway, it’s good to be back!
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My gym life has been a bit of a mess because I don’t go into the office every day, and getting myself to the gym on the days I’m working from home can be a whole situation. But I still try, because at this point, I genuinely cannot imagine my life without the gym. I might as well just faint. I’ve also been walking a lot, and in September, I participated in a walking challenge and came SECOND! I was so proud of myself. I walked a minimum of 10,000 steps every day for 30 days, and it felt so good to commit to something and see it through to the end. Thirty whole days! There were days I had to even walk round the parlour because of the weather omo, It wasn’t funny walking 10k in a small space but there is something satisfying about setting a goal and actually following through, especially when you know you could easily have given up on some of those days. So please, allow me to enjoy my achievement. Thank you.
Now, another thing I’ve been up to is playing table tennis again! (Just once sha lol). I found this fitness community not too far from home, and although I haven’t been as consistent as I’d like, I got to play table tennis again last month, and guyssss, it felt so good! It honestly felt like going back to my first love.
So, I grew up playing table tennis with my brother and our neighbours. And when I say we played, I mean we improvised! We carved our bats out of wood, and I remember us using paint buckets to hold the wood and stones to hold the part that divides one section from the other. Please, our creativity back then! Then, in secondary school, I continued playing and always represented my house, Faith House. Somehow, after secondary school, I just stopped playing. I picked it up again sometime in 2023, but I wasn’t consistent, and eventually, it fizzled out again.
So, getting to play last month brought back so many memories, and I was genuinely happy. There’s something about returning to something you loved as a child and realising that the joy is still there. Now I’m thinking that perhaps I should get back into it properly. If I can find somewhere convenient to play, I might just pick it up again. Because why did I abandon my first love like this? Why?? Anyway, let’s see how it goes. At least, I know I enjoyed myself, and that alone is enough reason to consider going back.
And then there’s my kitchen or technically my sister’s kitchen!
At this point, my sister will randomly text me, “Esty, how far? What’s cooking or baking today?” Whenever I see her message, I just start laughing.
I’ve been trying out new things, and I’m honestly enjoying myself. I make my own milk now. And before you ask, no, I don’t have my own cow! My colleague, Solomon nearly screamed when he heard that I made my own milk, silly boy lol, but it’s almond milk guyssssss, ALMOND MILK, please! It’s pretty easy to make, and I promise you, once you start, you might not go back.
I’ve made my usual oat muffins, tried creamy seafood pasta for the first time and, honestly, it was nice. But next time, I need to add heavy cream.I tried to be economical, because what are those prices? I genuinely don’t know how restaurants do it. The cost of ingredients alone will humble you especially with this current Tinubu naira, ah!. Kudos to everyone in the food business because, please, what exactly is going on?
I also made one of our native foods, Onunu that I usually look forward to eating whenever I visit Port Harcourt. Now, this food involves pounding, and there was absolutely no way this soft girl was going to be pounding anything. But guess who tried it? And my niece, who is my biggest supporter and number one fan of my food, finished it! Please, that’s all the validation I need.
And then, for the first time in five years, I made egusi soup. Five years, guys! The last time I properly cooked soup was when I lived alone in Abuja. Please don’t judge me. At least, it was nice to know that I can still cook and that my future husband and children will not starve. We thank God!
I’ve also been making my own date syrup, which I use as a sweetener. I haven’t taken sugar in probably a year, and making my own sweetener has been a fun little addition to my kitchen experiments.
And overnight oats? Remember when I told you guys I wasn’t sure how I felt about them? Well, we’ve come to terms now. I think I actually like them, or perhaps I’ve simply learned how to manage them. I make sure to add things I genuinely enjoy, like coconut, bananas and apples. Because let’s be honest, oats can be bland. You need to give them a fighting chance!
Anyway, I’ve been having fun trying new recipes and discovering things I can make myself. Who knows what I’ll attempt next? At this rate, my sister will soon be asking me to open a restaurant. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, please. One step at a time. I just learnt how to make egusi soup again.
When I think about it, I haven’t done anything particularly extraordinary in the past few weeks. I’ve been learning at work, reading books, walking, played table tennis, going to the gym when I can and experimenting in the kitchen.
Just life, really.
But I think that’s what I’ve been learning to appreciate lately. I’m so used to wanting to get things right, wanting to understand things quickly and wanting to see results that sometimes I forget that it’s okay to be in the middle of something. I’m learning a new role, and I want to fly already. I pick up a book and expect to get back into my reading routine immediately. I set a fitness goal, and I want to see it through. I try something new in the kitchen, and naturally, I expect the food to come out well. But life doesn’t always work that way, does it?
Sometimes, you need to crawl before you walk. Sometimes, you need to make the terrible first attempt before you figure out what works. Sometimes, you need to take a break and come back when you’re ready. And sometimes, you just need to MOVE. You might not have everything figured out. You might be scared that you’ve made the wrong decision. You might be looking at other people who seem to have everything together and wondering what you’re doing with your own life.
But please, take a breath.
You’re allowed to be new at something. You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to change your mind, learn something different and discover that you’re capable of more than you thought and if all you did this month was get out of bed, go to work, take a walk, try a new recipe or finally pick up that book you’ve been meaning to read, I hope you give yourself some credit too.
Not every month has to come with a major achievement. Sometimes, you’re just living, learning and trying to figure things out especially in this Tinubu economy, and that’s okay.
Anyway, look at me giving advice when I’m still trying to figure out my own life. But yea, one thing I know for sure is that I’m glad I moved. I’m glad I tried. I’m glad I allowed myself to be uncomfortable enough to learn something new, even when I wasn’t sure how things would turn out and I’m glad I didn’t force myself to write in September just because I usually do a monthly rundown. Because here I am, writing again, when I actually feel like it.
So, I guess that’s my little update!
If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, I’ve been around. Just doing life, one day at a time.
And if you’re in a season where you’re starting something new, please remember my friend’s advice: rest, crawl, walk, then fly. Don’t put pressure on yourself to fly when you’ve only just learnt how to crawl. You’ll get there. And who knows? While you’re busy moving, you might just meet your somethingggggg.
Now, let me go and finish this book because Ezioma and I are not done.
Till Next Time
Star Girl xxxx
