I fell….again
Nobody was there.
Except my sister, but she was asleep - oblivious to what was happening around her.
So I was basically alone.
Curled in bed with my ear phones plugged in, also a bit cold.
I was bored.
The videos weren't entertaining anymore. Dry.
That was its que to creep into my mind.
An unclean thought.
Ones mind is like a tree, flourishing. It’s branches wide spread — inviting creatures to take rest.
Birds — they are like thoughts that run through ones mind. Some perch and stay permeantly while others just breeze past.
With a lump in my throat, a finger hovered over the search button.
I hesitated.
Unsure if I should do it or not.
Two voices fight in my mind - one is louder than the other.
Persuasive.
My eyes close briefly and I do what I will regret.
I listen to that voice.
I let go of all I have fought for - that purity.
But...did I have it in the first place? I ask.
The voice replied, you didn't.
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And I agreed. I didn't.
In the end I did do what I promised myself I wouldn't do ever again.
I opened a door I know I have no power to close.
Although I know He will close it for me.
But for how long? How long will I go back and forth? Rise only to fall at the slight appearance of temptation?
Was it the drift? It definitely was.
I knew God’s voice. He said I shouldn’t.
But I did anyway.
A silent chuckle leaves my lips - hollow, humorless.
Shockingly...the voice I listened to wasn't the Devil's.
It was mine.
So, it's my fault.
____________
Can I call this a poem? I will really appreciate it you drop your thoughts♥
I will post another that follows this one up soon.
Clap if you liked it and thanks for reading
