Things I Believed About People that Turned Out to be Wrong
Humans have a tendency to think a lot. I read somewhere that thousands of thoughts cross an average human mind per day. Humans also have a tendency to believe that their thoughts are true. In this same way, even I believe a lot of my thoughts are true. Some of them, lately, have been about people, and how they proved my thoughts wrong.
Here are three things I was wrong about.
1. I thought the judgment I make about a person within minutes is what they’d turn out to be like.
Very often, in workplaces, in classrooms and gatherings, I tend to see a person and analyse what they look like, how they carry themselves, and the look on their face. Within minutes, I would’ve made up my mind about them. Only when I spend time understanding them do I realise how wrong my judgment was.
For example, there a few people I’ve seen look stern, confident, mysterious and unapproachable. When I pluck up courage to finally approach them, they seem to be some of the sweetest people to be around. Similarly, people who make others laugh and seem to be funny are thought to be carefree, imprudent and reckless while they are the ones who would be carrying a burden of responsibilities and pain.
2. People don’t change for someone.
Your friend won’t start picking calls just because you asked. Your boss won’t become polite, just because you expect it out of him/her. Your little cousin won’t pursue a career you suggested them with.
Get Bhavana J Reddy’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
One of the greatest examples could be of a student’s life. In many households, parents ask their children to get serious about their academics/hobbies/whatever they are good at, fearing for their future. Some people take days, months or years to understand why their parents said those things. They reach a point in life where they understand that on their own, without needing anyone’s advice. At that point, they know what to do, they CHANGE, not for anyone, not by anyone, but for themselves.
People change their habits, their ways, when they make up their minds to do so, not when someone tells them to or expects them to do so.
3. People who post their wins don’t always have everything figured out.
Social media has had an enormous effect on our lives, the way we think, and the way we perceive things. Many a times, people use it as a journal to record their memories. They post their achievements and receive appreciation for it. For people sitting behind screens and watching them win, it might seem like life is going perfect for them, like they have everything figured out. It ends up making them feel behind, like they’ve achieved nothing. Comparison creeps in and plays its heinous role.
We should realise that we see the wins, not the number of times they failed. We see the glory, not the late nights it took. We see the wealth, not how it was acquired. We see the celebrations, not the pain it took to get there. Maybe, the person who founded their start-up was once a twenty- two year old thinking about finding a job. Maybe, the person with a million followers today, doubted themselves when people judged them. Maybe, the person who is following his/her passion today once thought it was impossible to achieve anything in that field.
Breathe, not every person has the same timeline in life.
Sometimes, the most confident person in the room, is the one carrying a lot of insecurities. The quietest person in the room might be the most interesting. The people you think will never be a part of your life often teach you the most lessons. Each person is different, each person is unique.
Each person carries a story.
All it takes to learn from each person, is, maybe- the willingness to be wrong.
