Hatake Kakashi. Uchiha Obito.
Mention of suicide. Journal style. First POV.
Non-beta read. Impulsive writing. Non-native language.
NB: This Kakashi is very much depressed and usually written in third POV but mostly siding Kakashi, based on RP. This might be triggering to some people. Please read at your own risk.
Obito, I don’t think I can make it to next year.
It’s hard. I don’t know why I don’t know how I don’t know what, it’s hard. It took me so much time to even think that it’s hard. It’s much more if I want to think about what is hard from them. The time I can finally let out or even burst into stars is also the time people force me to talk about it. I always stutter after that. My body freezed and all I could do is just, nothing. Even if I try to do something to make me feel a little bit better, even if itms destructing, I tried not to affect them. I just have my space to hurt myself if I have to. I just want to feel other than tired and nothingness.
I used to get back to normal after a short rest. Now it feels like I need to sleep it off. I feel terrible to people who actually try to make me feel better. But I don’t feel safe with them. I try to let it out but it’s probably just, anger. And all they want is me being sweet and pliant.
I’m trying so hard to hold our promise. Year by year, trying to make sure we don’t unalive ourselves. Yet I keep coming back to the same knife with a sharp edge enough to slit. Perhaps when I’m alone I could be more free. I don’t have any expectations of this life. This is only three hours yet, I felt tired and don’t know what to do. What should I do to make people happier? They wanted to be happier. They keep asking me to be. I want it too.
You should also be the last person to make me feel safe. Yet I feel safe. Is it weird to appreciate you for trying to handle me?
You just leave me be. You often ignore me that I felt it was so quiet yet you’re still there. It feels like you know when you should talk to me that I let myself talk to you. It feels like you know how hurt it is in my chest and my head that you just simply, there. And sometimes you just hid yourself away when you scare me. You’re like a ghost that is trying to be my friend.
Even by now, I think, you’re trying so hard to see if it’s okay for you to speak. I don’t want you to be scared, but at the same time I appreciate you, Obi.
I don’t want to see you and also want to see you. I don’t want for it to be just like how we used to be. And I am sorry for Rin that she tried her best to make up for it. She doesn’t need to. You don’t need to. I don’t deserve it.
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Obi, how are you? Even a simple conversation. is a scary thing. It’s not you who I am scared of, Obi. It’s me. I don’t feel safe around myself. I am not normal. What if one day I can’t act nornal anymore? What will happen then? What should I do to make everyone happy?
I just want to live, Obi. Yet it is the hardest thing that I want to do.
Obito. I wonder if I can be normal too?
Am I dramatic? Am I a burden?
Obito.
Obi.
Obii
I wish I can be normal too.
I wish I can be nrmalt
I wishi canbe nrmll
I wishhsh
Obbi
Im sorry
