Why Saying Goodbye Never Gets Easier and Maybe It Shouldn’t
You would think repetition makes goodbye easier.
After enough flights, airport drop-offs and “message me when you land” conversations, surely you should become good at leaving.
I haven’t found that to be true.
Leaving Suriname after summer vacation still has a weight to it.
You know what is coming. You recognize the feeling. You can even predict exactly when it will hit.
And somehow that doesn’t make it disappear.
The Airport Moment
Airports are strange places when you live abroad.
For some people, the airport means adventure.
For others, it means another goodbye.
There is always that point where the person dropping you off can’t go any farther.
You hug.
Someone says, “See you soon.”
You say it back, although neither of you knows exactly when “soon” will be.
Then you turn around with your suitcase and walk toward security.
That walk can feel incredibly long.
I Used to Think I Should Be Better at This
When you choose to live somewhere else, you sometimes feel like you’ve lost the right to complain about missing home.
After all, you left.
Nobody forced you onto the plane.
But life isn’t that simple.
A good decision can still hurt.
Moving to Curaçao can be the right choice while leaving Suriname remains difficult.
Two Truths Can Exist Together
You can:
- Love the life you’ve built in Curaçao
- Miss your family in Suriname
- Feel excited about returning
- Wish the vacation lasted another week
- Be independent
- Still want your mother’s cooking
None of those feelings cancel the others.
Growing up often means learning to carry contradictory emotions without immediately trying to solve them.
Distance Changes Relationships
Living abroad also teaches you which relationships can survive distance.
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You learn that staying close requires effort.
A quick message matters.
Calling for someone’s birthday matters.
Asking how an ordinary Tuesday went matters.
Big family moments are important, but relationships are mostly built in the boring spaces between them.
So after returning to Curaçao, I try not to disappear into my routine completely.
Three Habits That Make Distance Easier
1. Call before you start missing people badly
Don’t wait until homesickness appears.
2. Share ordinary moments
Send the random picture. Tell them what happened at work. Relationships need normal conversation too.
3. Plan something to look forward to
You may not know the exact date of your next trip, but talking about future plans makes the distance feel less permanent.
What Goodbye Is Really Telling You
Eventually, I realized something.
Maybe saying goodbye isn’t supposed to become easy.
If leaving Suriname felt completely emotionless, what would that say about the connections I have there?
The sadness has a reason.
It exists because there were good days.
Because someone will miss you.
Because you will miss someone.
Because a place still feels like yours even after you’ve built a life somewhere else.
That’s not weakness.
That’s connection.
Take the Feeling With You
When the plane lands in Curaçao, life starts moving again surprisingly fast.
Within days, you are back in your routine.
But I don’t want to forget that airport feeling completely.
It reminds me to stay connected.
To book the ticket when I can.
To make time for family.
To stop assuming there will always be another summer.
Final Advice
The next time saying goodbye hurts, don’t rush to hide the feeling.
Let it remind you that distance hasn’t erased the relationship.
Then do something with that reminder.
Call more often. Visit when possible. Say what needs to be said while everyone is still around to hear it.
And if you’ve ever walked through an airport trying not to look back, share your experience. You may be surprised how many people understand exactly what you mean.
