Happy Birthday Baby Boy
You still are the grandest seat at my table even if you are all the way over there in heaven
Dear Baby. You are my perpetual baby as you never got to live. You got days in a place from hell. A hospital with doctors which I have always called the kill squad because that is exactly what they were. They are and always will be people who apparently had qualifications but really when it came to it they had no skills. They were simply killers in a hospital.
Hospitals are not supposed to be full of killers. At least that is what we the patients are told but the truth is baby there are killers and they find their way into places like gas.
I am so sorry baby that I went to that hospital. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I lived in a good country. I thought I knew good doctors. The truth is they were just a pack of criminals. I am so sorry. I wish I knew what they were doing.
I won’t ever get over it.
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They will go to hell. God's decree is final. Dear Jesus please help me find the way to forgive with totality that my way is barren. Please help me to sleep when I rest my head rather than ruminate. Please help me to forgive these people even if they are run by the devil. Please help me to believe that others can walk merrily into parenthood with total joy the way I once did too. Dear God please look after my sons soul even though I cannot cradle him. Dear God please look after my family. Dear Jesus please help me to forgive those involved in this. Dear Jesus please help me walk on through the days. Dear God please help me to find my dance instead of my sobbing.
At least you had a perfect funeral my son. At least you were totally covered in dirt before I left you.
You were perfect in every single way.
A million rose petals would never be enough to show my love.
It is your 26th birthday. You should be here having your birthday. I should be hugging you and welcoming your partner into our family and cooking a feast. Holding my husband with my pride blowing out of my heart that you were such a wonderful person.
You should be here baby. You should be here. You are always missed. Forever a missing piece. Forever an empty seat. Forever a silence.
Your broken hearted mother.
In God We trust that in the name of love this sadness can be washed away and appease those whom wanted the outcome to appease the loss of their son before his time. Please forgive him. Please take my blood destroyed and make your home in it.
