Encouragement
Offering encouragement sounds simple, but without appropriate boundaries, it can be very easy to set out to encourage, but end up carrying the load.
Well intentioned, though misguided, we earnestly apply our encouragement in all sorts of ways and places that it may not even be wanted. Then, when our encouragement is not agreed to be correct and received with thanks, but rejected or ridiculed, we’re left hurt and ashamed of our failure.
Encouragement-with-appropriate-boundaries looks more like being beside someone during their trials, not carrying them through it. Sitting next to them as they drive the car, without giving directions and grabbing the wheel.
For the Fixers, this isn’t a neatly packaged solution, gift wrapped with a bow. It may still come with mess and pain, rejection and ridicule, and no thanks in sight.
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Carrying our own load means not being crushed under the weight of another’s.
It’s not easy, and not always quick, but it is possible to shift from focusing on everyone else, to focusing first on ourselves.
It’s worth it.
It will improve your life.
Others around you will notice. They will react and respond to these changes in their own way.
Encourage them to take responsibility, action and credit for themselves. Don’t carry them, take responsibility, action and credit for yourself.
