STAND-UP PHILOSOPHY

WHY ARE WE IN SUCH A HURRY IF WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE WE’RE GOING?

Hello…Hello…!

Listen to me…!

Modern humanity invented high-speed trains, supersonic aircraft, and ten-minute delivery. Then it used all the time it saved to complain about having no time.

Our ancestors walked for three days to deliver a message. We send one in a second and suffer a nervous breakdown if nobody replies within two.

Civilization has made extraordinary progress: we can now get nowhere much faster.

Morning begins with an alarm clock that personally insults our punctuality. We leap out of bed, drink coffee standing up, and consult an app that congratulates us on our inadequate sleep.

Congratulations! You slept badly with remarkable efficiency.

At a traffic light, the driver behind you honks before the light turns green. He doesn't actually want to move. He wants reassurance that the universe respects his schedule.

Sextus Empiricus, a professional skeptic in an age without notifications, described tranquility as a consequence of suspending judgment.

We suspend judgment too, of course—but mostly when booking plane tickets at three in the morning.