Pannalal’s “Ami Sab Chhede Maa”
A timeless oath of surrender to Maa Kali, forsaking all for Her Grace.
I am scared of any attempt at singing Shyama Sangeeta or Agomoni. And I don’t bring them to my throat. One, I am not into any Sadhana of the minimal benchmark required for invoking the Devi. Two, I do not have the requisite classical vocal skills to pull off such difficult songs. However, I instantly developed immense fondness for the song, “Ami Sab Chhede Maa” (আমি সব ছেড়ে মা) by Shri Pannalal Bhattacharya the day I heard it for the first time some four to five years ago. It happens to be the only Shyama Sangeeta whose tune I have picked up and croon very often. I was under the impression, having gone through information scattered across websites, that this song was written and composed by the maestro Shri Dilip Kumar Roy (born 22nd January, 1897) who used to be a bosom friend of Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose. Shri Dilip Kumar Roy’s biography of NSCB is a masterpiece widely read by Netaji enthusiasts, admirers and followers. However, after a great deal of digging, it eventually dawned on me that this, in all likelihood, is, after all, a serious case of a long-standing misattribution. The confusion has arisen precisely owing to two music composers sharing the same name. And it is the other, lesser known, but a music composer of genuine distinction and great musical stature, Rajanikanta Sen’s grandson Dilip Kumar Roy (1917–2022), who went on to compose and write quite a few songs for Pannalal Bhattacharya and singers of his time. Indeed, “Ami Mantra Tantra Kichhui Janine Maa” (আমি মন্ত্র তন্ত্র কিছুই জানিনে মা), too, owes both its words and its melody to Dilip Kumar Roy. Among the other songs he wrote and composed, immortalised in Pannalal Bhattacharya’s voice, are “Mithye Tomay Dosh Deoya” (মিথ্যে তোমায় দোষ দেওয়া) and “Golok Dhandhay Morchhi Ghure” (গোলকধাঁধায় মরছি ঘুরে), to name but a few. He was a singer, composer, lyricist, teacher, notator and HMV music trainer. He used to write and compose songs for the radio. He trained generations of students in music, with celebrated singers like Hemanta and Pannalal among those who came under his tutelage. He also prepared swaralipi for about 150 Rajanikanta songs, an important contribution to the survival of the repertoire for posterity. The intellectually formidable musician-musicologist rendered a similar service to Kantageeti, Atulprasadi and Dwijendrageeti, reviving their tunes, training singers in their nuances, and helping to preserve and popularise these musical traditions.
“আমি সব ছেড়ে মা ধরব তোমার রাঙা চরণ দুটি” is wholly of his making, lyric and melody alike. A deep repose inhabits the words. And unworldly is the musical architecture.
This video file was obtained from YouTube, courtesy of Shri Moloy Ghosh’s audio restorations:
Here’s a translation-cum-transcription of the lyrics by yours truly:
আমি সব ছেড়ে মা ধরবো, তোমার রাঙা চরন দুটি।
এইতো আমার ব্রত।
আমি আর নই তো রাজি, শুন্য হাতে ঘুরতে অবিরত।
এইতো আমার ব্রত॥
আমি যা পেয়েছি জীবনভরে, উঠলো না তায় হৃদয় ভরে।
এখন এমন কিছু চাই মা যাহা, চিরদিনের মতো।
এই তো আমার ব্রত॥
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আমি কুহক মোহে ভুলে ভুলে,দাগ কেটেছি জলে।
পান করেছি বিষয় মধু, শান্তি পাবো বলে সুখ-শান্তি পাবো বলে॥
আজ জীবন ভরা ফুলের ডালি,তোমার পায়ে দিলাম ঢালি।
এখন তোমার কৃপায় অমৃত হোক, ব্যাথার গরল যত॥
আমি সব ছেড়ে মা ধরবো, তোমার রাঙা চরন দুটি।
এই তো আমার ব্রত॥
Giving up everything Maa I’ll grab, the two crimson feet of yours,
This is my resolute vow.
I am no more amenable to, relentless empty-handed wandering,
This is my resolute vow.
Whatever I’ve received all my life, by it, the heart has not risen to fullness.
Now I seek such a thing that lasts forever,
This is my resolute vow.
Deceived by enchantment, in error, I cut marks on water,
I quaffed the nectar of matter, ostensibly for obtaining peace, ostensibly for obtaining joy and peace.
Today, the branch thick with life’s blossoms, I lay at your feet,
Now by your mercy may all the venoms of pain turn Amrita.
Giving up everything Maa I’ll grab, the two crimson feet of yours,
This is my resolute vow.
PS This is the song that every fibre of my being sings ceaselessly.
(I shared the translation on Facebook two years ago.)
