Bending
Bananas.
When I moved north to Queensland
I had to pass some tests
And being a Southerner from NSW
Queenslanders considered we were pests.
You had to speak, really slowly
And look like a true blue
No hippies or art freaks were allowed
And at the border weren’t let through.
You had to know about bananas
And how they affect the brain
And that the maroons are a religion
And play Rugby League in the rain.
The real test is if you can tell
A Cavendish from a Lady’s finger
Don’t think twice or scratch the head
You’re in trouble if you linger.
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It’s so obvious and plain to see
The Lady’s finger fits in the gob
Whereas a Cavendish banana is longer
Is soft and doesn’t throb.
They’re both bent in the middle
And there’s no second guess
Compared to the petit Lady’s finger
Cavendish is called an excess.
So, if you travel north my friends
And stray across the border
It’s wise to know about bananas
Or be deemed out of order.
I’m now a banana bender
See, when grown they are straight
We bend them just like Beckham
Then send them interstate.
©
David Rudder
2024
Thank you for reading this piece and my poetry.
