Deflections about death: starting the conversation
Recently, death positive advocate Caitlin Doughty posed this question on Twitter, and received some insightful responses from the community:
From claiming the topic is ‘too morbid’ to the fear of their own mortality, it seems lots of people struggle to start the conversation. Some deem it ‘too unpleasant’, or tell you you’re ‘too young’ to talk about it yet. Have you ever tried to talk, only to be told you’re ‘inviting bad luck’, or you’re ‘weird’ for having an active interest?
It appears you’re not alone!
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Lots of people in the Twitter community started to share how their family members and friends had try to avoid these types of conversations …
… some saying it was too morbid or depressing:
But some identified that perseverance made things a little easier each time:
Identifying that some people have a ‘fear of being forgotten’ and worries about their own mortality is a powerful realisation:
And the idea that people find these conversations ‘unpleasant’ rang true for a number of commenters:
Being too young, or having plenty of time to talk about it later came up, too:
And even the notion that it can ‘invite bad luck’:
Or that you’re somehow morbid or strange for having an active interest:
Some people are taking their plans in their own hands:
And lots of people expressed how grateful they were when they had been able to have honest, open conversations with friends and family members:
And if you want to donate your body to medical science?
What are your experiences of deflection? Have you found a way to talk openly and honestly with friends and family? You can read more responses (and add your own) to Caitlin’s conversation on Twitter, or speak to the Compassion in Dying team on Twitter too.
If you need help talking about death, have a look at our booklet ‘Starting the Conversation’. You can also call our free Information Line on 0800 999 2434.
(Just a quick note — we’re not endorsing any of the Twitter profiles mentioned here — their views are all their own, and not necessarily the views of Compassion in Dying or its staff).
