Member-only story
Humor | Bullshit
The Wealthiest Boner to Ever Live
The Boner Chronicles
April is the Month of boners, so let yourself drown in the comfort of your seat and allow me to amuse you with a short boner story.
During my high school days, I had to do an assignment on a 16th-century businessman.
Once I got home, I swiftly jumped on my computer like Super Mario, and off I was to explore every rich bastard in the 16th century. “Hi-ya, my digital pony!” I exclaimed to myself while listening to the Gypsy Kings.
I scoured the fucking Mariana Trench of the internet and dug up some shady-looking, sweaty dudes who looked like they came from a freshly produced Hanna-Barbera Scooby-Doo Show.
Zoinks, there it is!
A webpage with my name on it: “Rich dudes by century.”
“Oh, how the stars have aligned — The Mercury and his 27 brothers must be slapping each other’s asses in a circle around a Macadamia nut feast to bless me with this generous find”, I thought to myself.
It was probably around 2:30 pm, and like a hormone-filled tumultuous star waiting to explode, I couldn’t wait to go…
