To know yourself is to truly live.

It has been a minute since I was on here, and this is me saying I successfully overcame the need to explain my absence and apologise for the long silence. When I decided to write again, it came naturally. There was no pressure, no deadline, no hurry; just an interest in writing about relationships that popped up, again, one random evening. I know for certain that this is the first of many such pieces; the one where I write for no one’s validation and Abba’s glory.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul…

I always thought the Psalmist was just chilling, relaxing somewhere, when he wrote Psalm 23, but the man was neck deep in chaos, and did not feel rushed, at least at the moment he wrote the psalm. I completely get that feeling. I am grateful that this does not feel rushed.

While on my hiatus, I have experienced about 10 different seasons, all part of my journey to become more “ME” than I am each day. I have struggled and grown, taken steps back and leapt forward. I have laughed and cried, been heartbroken and pieced myself back together, soared and rested. I have truly lived while I've been away, and I continue to live in a world I only existed in.

I truly gained clarity the day I realised that no one was coming to save me; partly because I am already saved, but mostly because I am the only one who can make the moves to help myself.

Since I became aware of my journey, I have come to appreciate two things: the things I do because I choose to and the things I do because I choose to choose to. Do you get? To simplify it, it is discipline over motivation, just like enjoying going to that job you hate. You know you are stuck until you can move, and that it is best you make the best out of the situation. However, this might also be a trauma response from being Nigerian, so maybe take this with a pinch of salt.

These days, I appreciate the days I go on a walk because I said I was going to, and I felt like doing it, but I appreciate more the days I clock 10,000 steps because that was what I planned to, although I didn’t feel like it. Both sides are proof that I am living life, a life that I did not choose, yet choose to live. You get?

So far, this is my favourite chapter in becoming me, the one where I love fully, embrace the love I receive, forgive wholeheartedly, set up firm boundaries and learn from numerous mistakes. However, every year has been my favourite since I began taking stock. I will truly never have a better yesterday.

How about you? What chapter of your journey has been your favourite so far? I’d really love to hear how you’re embracing your own becoming. Share your thoughts in the comments, let’s grow and learn from each other’s journeys.

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Becoming... was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Human relationships are complicated. They’re layered, unpredictable, often messy, yet deeply rewarding. You say one thing but mean another, and the other person hears something else entirely. Navigating the dynamics of relationships can be exhausting, but they’re also what make life rich and worth sharing.

This is what Ifeoluwa A. and I strived to accomplish when we started Anything, Everything & Inbetween. We created a space for writing, reflection, and shared voices, and over time, it grew into exactly that: a publication where many have shared their thoughts, hearts and stories.

Write For Us

Somewhere along the journey, I dropped the ball, but while I stepped back, Ife never did. She has been the life, blood, and soul of this publication, carrying it when I didn’t, showing up when I couldn’t, and keeping the vision alive even in silence, even while carrying a life. This is my formal apology to her, my Shayla, and a deep acknowledgement of her extraordinary dedication.

Of Times, Seasons and Keeping On…

So I’m back, after my drawn-out silence. Back to writing, editing, and contributing once more to the space we started. Together, we will continue to explore relationships of all kinds: with God, with self, with friends, with work, with strangers, and with partners. Simply because relationships touch everything, and everything touches relationships.

Most importantly, we still want this to be more than just our voices; so if you’re a writer who loves (or struggles with) the complexity of the human mind and connections, we’d love to feature your work on AE&I. Bring your stories, your poems, your questions, your truths; we want it all — anything, everything, and in between, because even in silence, the story keeps unfolding.

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Anything, Everything & Inbetween was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The first time I heard about “emotional bank” was at the office one day when we had soft drinks to celebrate something. I picked up my colleague's bottle of Coca-Cola because she was on a no-soda diet and even though I was also partially on one, I had people at home who wouldn’t mind.

As soon as I said that, my colleague said, “that’s good, you’re investing in your emotional bank.” I didn’t really pay attention to it until recently when I got a DM on Facebook from a supposed friend asking me for money. For context, the last time I saw this person was more than a decade ago, and even then, we were not best of friends, just classmates.

This recent DM was the second in two years and it was also around the same period. Apart from asking for money, there wasn’t a simple “Happy Birthday, Christiana” or “Merry Christmas” or “Happy New Year” or anything to just show that the person cared about me even if it wasn’t real.

When I saw the DM, I took time to read through and while I’m not so bothered that someone is asking me for help, I’m concerned that someone with whom I have no relation, who doesn’t even have my phone number would think that I would be willing to give them money, even if I had it.

This incident took me back to the emotional bank conversation I had previously and it made me to dig and understand how it works. From my research, I discovered that Stephen Covey mentioned it in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

“An Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It’s the feeling of safeness you have with another human being.”

“If I make deposits into an Emotional Bank Account with you through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments to you, I build up a reserve. Your trust toward me becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust many times if I need to. But if I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, overreacting, ignoring you, becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust, threatening you, or playing little tin god in your life, eventually my Emotional Bank Account is overdrawn. The trust level gets very low.”

Could This Be Love?

The reason I would travel all the way from Lagos to Ibadan to attend a wedding but turn down a wedding invite within Lagos is because of how much a person has have invested in my emotional bank. The reason you can run into my DM to rant is because you feel safe and you trust me not to sell your story to a notorious blog or tweet about it.

When we go the extra mile for the ones we love, not simply because we love them but also because they have given us enough reason to prove that they are worth the extra mile. For example, there’s another person I go to know the same way I knew the Facebook person and I’ve known them for roughly the same length of time. Let’s call this person Sam.

If Sam had sent me that same message, I would most likely have called to understand what was going on and how I could help. Why? Even though I didn’t meet her physically until about 3 years ago at an event, I had been following her and learning from her. For me, that’s how she had been investing in my emotional bank.

The crux of this conversation is that we should do better with our relationships with people. Don’t keep friends only for when you need them, show interest in their lives, decisions and everything. Be there for them when they need you, not because you hope they will be there for you when it’s your turn. Give to them because you love them.

In the event that they choose to ignore all your efforts and keep withdrawing until you are on a negative, walk away from it. For someone who has had to walk away from relationships and friendships that stopped serving me, I know it can be difficult but I want you to know that you are better off without them. Period.

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Emotional Bank was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A two-income household is a powerful one that allows the unit to have more. They usually go further if they both have their heads screwed on right, and they can work together. There’s so much negativity on social media these days and while some are valid, others are laughable.

It’s only natural for any reasonable person to want their partner to earn more and contribute to running the household. Whether it's 50:50, 80:20, or 70:30, it's up to the unit to decide.

For a working-class household to be successful as a partnership, here are a few things I have learned in my journey, even though I’m still learning.

There is something called growth periods. Both of you can’t grow at the same pace at the same time. Many times, one person grows more than the other. Successful households are the ones where the partners take turns to grow.

In our case, I was the one who started growing faster, so we decided when our children were little, that I would be the one who focused on career growth. I worked hard and even relocated to get a better job at some point, while my partner focused on the home front.

This meant I didn’t have time to mess around as I was on a timer. I knew that it would soon be my wife’s turn. She had our kids in the comfort of a stable job that didn’t necessarily foster much career progression. It also meant that I had to carry the home financially (you have to at this stage).

Now, this is the tricky part. When it's her time, you have to be willing to step back, take a seat, and focus more on the home front. Many men struggle with this, which is why when you are in your career-building phase, you still need to pay attention to what’s happening at home. Don’t be uninterested.

When it was her time to grow, I had to pause my career building and keep it at bay. You should have stabilized at that time, as you will have to do more on the home front.

I ensure that the people I work with know my schedule (e.g. 6–8 am and 5–8 pm are no-work times). I encouraged my wife to quit her job and we focused on her getting a great job. She got a great offer 4 months later and then it was her turn to build her career.

Navigating the Corporate World to Accelerate Growth

I encouraged my wife to travel for work when the opportunities came, while I stayed at home with the children and the nanny (if you haven’t gotten her help prior, omo I pity you). I did the school runs, made the meals, and cared for them. She still had to supervise sometimes though.

I stopped working on Saturdays so she could work on Saturdays when necessary. See, capitalism is what it is and you both have to draw up a schedule for work engagements and outings. Successful people build work relationships and that involves traveling, meetings, informal gatherings, etc. A schedule will help you both to plan properly and work together.

Rather than tell her how to navigate the work environment, you can coach her on the whats, whys, hows, and whens. You can also help her understand how she shows up and how she’s perceived. When my partner gets frustrated with work, I am her first ranting point and I listen first, then tell her about my experience with something similar and how I navigated it.

I turned down and I am still turning down opportunities because the unit's focus is her and her career success at this point so a fancy new senior role isn’t what I need now. Remember that when you are earning more, you are building and amassing wealth, so you need her to build hers as well (this is why you can't be joking around in your building years).

She will struggle with mum guilt, and you need to be careful that you are compounding this. You also need to be a source of encouragement to let her know you are there for her and that it's only for a while; assure her that the children understand and that’s how mummy can buy them nice things. So reinforce this with the children.

Drop Your Title at the Door

You will read a lot of things online and people will tell you different things, but remember that in your house you are not the big shot boss. When you get home, you are just another person with no direct reports (even the nanny doesn’t report to you) so you have to be okay with doing the grunt work and if you can’t, you have to get it done.

Your ego may want to get in the way, but you will need to silence it and remind yourself that your partner did the same for you and now, it's your turn. Besides, no household where bigmanism occurs survives.

*This article was originally published by Babajide Duroshola as a thread on X.

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Dear Married Man… was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

If you ask any number of people what love means to them, chances are that although they may have different definitions and explanations, some words are constant. Peace. Safety. Warmth. Freedom to be. Understanding. Home.

For me, it is making space for your person and wanting to go the extra mile for them. It is wanting to help them and make life easy for them. It is feeling at peace with them, knowing that you can be yourself without fear of judgment and that come what may, they have your back.

It’s interesting how people can go from a simple ‘hello’ (or DM) to constantly talking and wondering what they did before they met that person, and possibly even spending the rest of their lives together.
The first date and the other firsts that gradually morph into having their lives intertwined.

When love comes in a form we don’t recognize, or one we’re not used to, the first instinct is usually to run away. Without the sparks, grand romantic gestures, and theatrics we’ve seen and read about many times over, we are wondering about what could staring at us right in the face, forgetting that many times, love is in the little things.

“It takes a brave soul to choose love, which is why many of your kind prefer to believe that they merely fall into love as a shield from all the other sometimes painful choices that come along with it.” — Kelechi Okafor, The Watchers.

There’s a lot of talk about meeting people when they’re not ready to accommodate you in their lives but sometimes, we’re the ones who aren’t ready. And it’s not because we’re terrible people, it’s just life sometimes.

From past experiences to fear or even sheer ignorance, some of us are simply used to a certain way of doing things that we are unable to see any other way. Sometimes, we don’t even know that’s what we are doing.

There’s also something to be said for meeting people at a certain point in time and a major life event occurs and shifts the course of our lives or theirs. Such events affect friendships and romantic relationships in ways that can not be put into words but love always remains.

Naranai

With love, you have to be patient. I used to be quick to run. Even when I lived alone, I always told myself there’s love at home so with any inconvenience, I’m running home to eat and sleep. Being secure in yourself and refusing to settle is great, but it’s so much more than that. You can’t give up before you try.

Love may not always be simple and straight-forward. Even when it’s not what we’re used to, some things are constant. Love is stable; it does not leave you wondering where you stand. It does not demand that you bend over backwards to be acceptable; it takes you as you are. Love stretches you but it does not require you to lose yourself or individuality.

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Could This Be Love? was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

In the beginning, it was a love story straight from the pages of a fairytale. Life painted a canvas of roses filled with love and laughter. Walking down the aisle, our eyes sparkled with stars. But soon, the rosy paths grew thorny, and the once unquestioned love stood under a shadow of doubt.

We found ourselves at a crossroads, unable to bear each other's presence any longer. Sweet words turned into sharp arrows, piercing the hearts that once beat in sync.

Those words, once as sweet as nectar, became bitter.

The weight of things left unsaid, unresolved issues, regrets, and the growing distance pressed on our hearts. We both felt the love that had brought us to that sacred altar slipping through our fingers like grains of sand.

Our relationship crumbled like a house of cards. We stood amidst the ruins, questioning the love that had brought us together. Heartbreak overshadowed the rosy memories, leaving us with a heart-wrenching ache, a testament to the love we once held but could no longer keep.

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Fading Vows: A Love Undone was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I have a profound appreciation for the concept of ‘love.’ It’s an exquisite and potent emotion that can leave those who experience it or witness it deeply moved, sometimes even to the point of feeling utterly helpless.

Recently, I reached a realization: I’m currently not in a place where I’m ready or even willing to fully embrace love. This phase of my life is somewhat unconventional, and it can be challenging to explain, especially given the cultural context of where I come from. Many may assume my decision is rooted in past emotional wounds from heartbreak, betrayals, or failed relationships. However, the truth is that I haven’t ever truly opened my heart to love up to this point.

What I truly desire right now is to relish my singleness. This stage of my life holds immense significance because it affords me the freedom and time to enjoy my own company and make decisions independently, for which I bear full responsibility. It’s a period where I get to explore and get to know myself better, loving myself unconditionally.

Prioritizing personal growth and self-discovery over a romantic relationship has allowed me to invest in myself, my passions, and my aspirations. I want to emphasize that these two aspects of life are not mutually exclusive. I can continue working on myself while remaining open to the possibility of love when the timing feels right.

During this phase of being single, I have the unique opportunity of fully engaging in my own life, exploring my interests, travelling, pursuing my dreams, and laying the foundation for the life I envision. So far, the journey has been incredibly fulfilling and has provided invaluable insights into my identity and desires for any potential future relationship.

The Intrinsic Bargain: How Much Can I Pay?

If you find yourself in a phase where you’re not ready to be in love, it’s crucial to do so with self-awareness and respect for your feelings.
Here are some steps to consider:

1. Self-reflection: Take time to understand why you’re not ready for love. Is it due to past experiences, personal goals, or emotional barriers? Knowing the root cause can help you address it more effectively.
2. Communicate openly: If you’re dating, communicate your feelings honestly with potential partners. Transparency can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
3. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your interactions and relationships. Knowing what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not interested in can help protect your emotional well-being.
4. Seek support: If past traumas or emotional barriers are holding you back, consider seeking counseling and praying about it.
5. Focus on self-care: Invest in self-care practices that nurture your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritizing self-love and self-compassion is essential during this phase.

It took me some time to openly express this, but I’m genuinely relieved to be able to share it confidently. To those who can relate to this experience, I look forward to hearing your own stories and insights in the comments.

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What If I’m Not Ready To Be In Love? was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

In a world where men receive accolades even for the smallest of deeds, it’s like a relentless assault on the stoic hearts of men. The excessive ego-pampering bestowed on the supposedly weaker sex is enough to put Bill Gates to shame if only I could tally it up. But let me not stray off course.

My tale is far from unique. Men are lauded as stronger, wiser, and better until the conversation turns to matters below the belt, and suddenly, we’re expected to cut them some slack. Well, I’m not in the business of cutting slack.

I once visited a long-time friend I’d only met once but we talked daily for nearly a year. I made it explicitly clear that it was to be a platonic visit, devoid of any romantic advances. Perhaps that was naive, but can we really not trust a supposedly “mature” man to act his age? Thankfully, there was no assault, just an arduous and exhausting dance of defusing advances.

There’s no trophy to award his “self-control,” but I must acknowledge him for not crossing the line. He claimed to have done something only 10% of men could do, a feat I was also accomplishing without recognition. Why? Because, as you might have guessed, I am a woman, and self-control and chastity seem to be inborn.

He even took it further and made the rather peculiar statement that’s echoed by men throughout history: that a man has two brains, one in his head and one in his loins, which can not operate simultaneously. What a convenient analogy, separating parts of the same body for personal convenience.

This notion isn’t new. Over 500 years ago, Leonardo da Vinci observed the elusive nature of penile rigidity, noting that it acted independently of the owner’s will. “The penis does not obey the order of its master,” he wrote, suggesting it had a mind of its own. However, modern science tells a different story.

While dissecting cadavers, Da Vinci discovered that the penis fills with blood during an erection but his perception of its autonomy was incorrect. It’s now understood that the central nervous system, the brain and spinal cord collectively control the organ. So, dear brother, you do have control; you simply choose not to exercise it.

Relationship Status: It’s Complicated

Although research on women’s sexual function has lagged behind that of men, scientists are gradually uncovering both similarities and differences between the sexes. There’s an old myth that sexual frustration causes stomachaches in men. Really? Isn’t it time to retire that excuse? Perhaps one day, science will also convince the world that women are sexual beings with their own desires. I may not live to see it but I’ll stand up when women start debunking the “stomachache” myth with the same vigor. Maybe by then, science will have invented a GPS for the clitoris. I won’t ask for too much, though. Forgive my ramblings, but this topic tickles my funny bone.

Don’t get me wrong. Men should be celebrated for acts of kindness and selflessness, just like anyone else. It’s undeniably a man’s world, and it wouldn’t be the same without them. However, should we really roll out the red carpet for a man who refrains from promiscuity? Applaud him for looking after his own child while his partner tackles other chores? Praise him for doing the dishes, as if it’s beneath him? Commend him for cleaning a house he also resides in? Or for cooking, a task that women have shouldered for decades without expecting a single word of acknowledgment, let alone appreciation?

Yes, I thank this man for not violating my boundaries, but should I? Who will thank me for hours of self-control, for resisting temptation when desire runs deep? Or do we all assume that women lack a libido?

Who will thank your mother for changing your diapers while your father watched television as if your soiled bottom was from another dimension? Who will thank her for spending hours preparing meals she might not even have the energy to eat? Who will thank her for those countless, unacknowledged acts that keep the world turning? Who will thank the women?

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Who Will Thank The Women? was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Life has a funny way of pulling people apart. We often find ourselves drifting from people we once considered our closest friends. Time, circumstances, and even misunderstandings can create rifts that seem impossible to bridge. For the sake of personal peace and closure, I made a bold attempt to reconnect with an old friend, and that changed our lives.

We all have that one friend we used to spend endless hours with, share our deepest secrets, and laugh until our stomachs hurt. For me, that friend was Rachel. We met in primary school and quickly became inseparable. Our bond was unbreakable, or so we thought. As the years passed, life took us in different directions. Going to the university, jobs, and relationships consumed our time and energy. Our friendship had become a memory, a bittersweet reminder of what once was.

We went from talking every day to sending occasional birthday wishes on social media. I watched her grow through the lens of social media—her wins, her relationships, her professional achievements, everything. I loved it for her, but I found myself disturbed by unanswered questions. Why did we drift apart? What went wrong? Was it something I said or did?

These uncertainties gnawed at my heart and left me yearning for closure. I realized that reconnecting with my best friend was the only way to put these questions to rest. Reaching out to someone after years of silence takes courage. I was nervous about how she would respond, if at all. Would she be open to reconnecting, or had she forgotten about me?

Show Me Your Friend

One day, I took a leap of faith and reached out to Rachel on social media. Our initial conversation was awkward, filled with small talk and lingering questions of, “What went wrong?” However, as we continued to chat, the ice began to thaw and we talked for hours, laughed, and shared memories. The familiarity rushed back, and it was a feeling of pure joy.

That conversation was therapeutic and provided the closure I had longed for. In the course of our conversation, I realized nothing really went wrong; we just got busy and settled on the assumption that we were okay apart. Life had taken us on different paths, and neither of us was to blame.

Sometimes friendships naturally evolve, and that’s okay. We may not be the same people we were in our youth, but our friendship had left an indelible mark on both of us. The connection we once shared is still there, but we are now two different individuals. Reconnecting with Rachel wasn’t just about finding closure for me; it was also about rekindling a precious friendship.

We decided to make an effort to stay in touch, even if it meant occasional phone calls or visits. Our rekindled friendship may not be the same as it once was, but it’s a beautiful reminder of the love and connection we shared. If you find yourself longing for closure with a lost friend, consider taking the first step to reconnect. You might be pleasantly surprised by the healing and growth that can result from it.

I hope my story encourages you to reach out.

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Old Friends, New Beginnings was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Amid the chaos that is in our everyday lives, we long for peace and quiet and try to find comfort but we’re hesitant to make silent moves or take breaks. Like many of us, this is a tale of a lady who decided to silently focus on the life-changing journey of self-discovery.

In the busy city where she had thrived, her presence was felt. She was there for people whenever they needed her, she had a sympathetic ear, and she made other people happy. But then, her life took a turn she didn’t expect, leaving her with enormous issues to deal with. Overwhelmed and anxious, she decided to stay away from the world she used to know and find comfort in silence.

She discovered the strength to peel back the layers of her existence in the shield of isolation she sought out, reawakening her passions, dreams, and inner wisdom in the process.

In the quiet, she found out how full her inner world was. She spent a lot of time exploring old interests, working on skills she had not used in a while, and rekindling the spark of her imagination.

In the absence of validation from the outside world, she found it within herself and learned to accept her strengths and celebrate what made her. She embraced her inner world.

You May Come Back.

Even though no one could see her, she was not completely alone; her close friends and family knew about her struggles and supported her unwaveringly, despite being from far away. They knew it was important to honour her need for privacy while still showing her love and understanding.

Their kindness gave her a place to heal and rebuild herself, knowing that even though she was distant, she was not forgotten.

Her story is a powerful lesson on how silence has the power to change things for the better. By getting to know herself again, she showed how beauty and power can come from being in solitude.

Her journey shows us that in a world that often expects constant presence and engagement, stepping away can be a radical act of self-care.

May her story motivate us to find quiet times to think and to believe in the power of finding ourselves again in silence.

Until next time… take care!

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Re-discovering herself in the midst of chaos was originally published in Anything, Everything & In-between on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.