Member-only story
gripes
My Privately Designed Hell
not the hot place
I never tell people to “Go to hell.” (Well, almost never. They might retaliate by following suit.)
But I often silently scream those words at THINGS!
Since the real hell is reserved for human souls, or so I’m told, I have had to invent a new sort, where processes can go (or be sent to) to spend an entirely fruitless eternity. (I hope.) [Medium non-paid members can continue to read this for free by clicking HERE.]
I have several candidates, but here are my top several.
1. Automated phone calls.
One of the reasons I discontinued my land-line phone recently was that the only calls I was getting on it were ‘Spam,’ an epithet which gives the similar-sounding alleged meat product a bad name. Or, rather, a worse name than it already had.
But now I’m getting those same kinds of calls on my cell phone, which I can’t live without. What to do? Well, that’s why I invented my own private version of hell — so I could send the offenders there.
Example: The cell phone rings and I answer it, because I’m a polite person, and that’s how I was brought up. But there’s no person on the other end. Instread, there’s a recording, which wants to loan me money or get me to switch…
