Did I Just Imagine It?
Or Was That Really Jason Alexander Smiling At Me Over the Camembert?
My husband tells me that man wasn’t Jason Alexander, but I think it was. In fact, I am more certain of it now than ever.
What I don’t know is why Jason Alexander would be shopping at our local grocery store a couple of Saturdays ago.
So this is how it all began:
Once upon a time… No, not like that, but it does feel a bit like a fairy tale.
It was more like this:
We were in our local grocery store last Saturday when I first spotted him looking at onions. I was standing beside the bananas, which is close to the onions, although that’s not important. I just want you to know that I didn’t see him from the far side of the store, over where the butter and eggs are, which has to be at least a mile.
He was pushing a basket and appeared to be alone. I failed to see what else he had in his basket or if he decided on white, sweet, red, yellow onions, or no onions. I really should have been more observant, but I was a little bit in shock. I am leaning toward white onions, though. They are the most expensive.
I walked up to my husband, who has always appointed himself as master of the basket while I traipse along behind. But now that I think about it, that is a good idea: it gives me more time to observe, which is why I was able to spot Jason Alexander in the first place.
I whispered, “Look, look — over there.”
“What?”
He doesn’t hear so well, so I said it louder, but in no way shouted, “See that man looking at the onions, the one in the coral-colored shirt?” It was a lovely shade of coral, by the way. I have compared it to a Benjamin Moore paint chip called “Rich Coral, 028.”
He nodded, but I think he probably didn’t hear me that time either because there was not one iota of enthusiasm connected to that nod.
“Doesn’t he look just like Jason Alexander to you?”
“Who?”
“Jason Alexander, the actor who plays George Costanza, on Seinfeld.”
“Oh, yeah, a little,” he concurred (but only a little).
Get Dorothy Hooper Fennell’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Well, the next thing I knew, we were standing at the cheese aisle looking at cheeses, and I looked to my left, and there Jason was again, but this time we were only about three feet apart. I can really zoom in at three feet.
I turned to examine him more closely. He looked up at me from the Camembert and gave me a full, Jason Alexander-like smile, his eyes all crinkled into slits.
I was shocked.
First of all, it is a rare thing to see a stranger smile these days; sometimes your friends don’t even smile. No stranger has ever smiled at me this way. Lately I’ve noticed that some strangers pride themselves in looking at you and through you simultaneously. I am not impressed.
Every now and then, you might get that little half-smile grimace combo, or a smirk, but this wasn’t that. He seemed absolutely delighted, even thrilled, to see me. It was as if he were there looking for me; it was never for the onions.
I was embarrassed because he had caught me staring at him, but his eyes were kind and seemed to say, “I see you recognize me. You must be a fan, so thank you for that. I’m on holiday here in your beautiful town and just trying to relax a little between gigs. It’s a real zoo out there; you just can’t imagine. Hey, listen, sweetheart, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep this our little secret.”
Did he wink at me then? I’m not sure. One eye did seem to get smaller. Let’s just say he did.
While it is true that facial expressions and eyes can often say more than words, I do hope he didn’t call me “sweetheart.”
I smiled back, but it was more a stunned smile than anything else. It was not my best smile, I’ll admit. I turned away quickly and feigned intense interest in the French cheeses and didn’t look at him again, at least face to face.
I saw him next looking at the jars of olives. So, what was he doing? Perhaps having the crew over for hors d’oeuvres with crackers, cheese, and olives? This is interesting. I wonder what the onions were for? Was he going to pickle them? I think red onions would have been a better choice. I could have shared my recipe with him. There is always a shoulda, woulda, coulda, isn’t there?
But there was more than just his smile. This man was the height and build of Jason Alexander, although it’s hard to be sure since I have only seen him on television and totally out of proportion. He had a body shape like Jason Alexander, of that I am sure.
His mostly balding head and the hair color and way he combs his hair were the same.
He wore similar glasses.
His smile, as I have already told you, was identical.
Now, I ask you, was that Jason Alexander or was it not?
My husband says it was not and even told me, “Maybe you should run away with him.” Sounds a bit like jealousy to me.
There is just no telling what you will see when you go out and about. I have learned from a life of disappointments that it is always better not to expect anything; that way you are never disappointed. It seems to be working.
I just came in from today’s grocery shopping, and I saw nothing of real interest or value because I was looking for Jason Alexander again. I will have to clear my head of that — once I’ve told everyone I know — so that there is room for another surprise or sighting.
When I do, I’ll be sure to let you know.
