IBM 1979 variant

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IBM 1979 variant
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69 Comments

Inkjet printers are definitely spiteful

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95

You know that trope where there’s an amalgam big bad of all kinds of crap thrown together with something ironic in the center controlling it all? Someone ought to do Vger but it’s just an inkjet printer and it wants everyone dead because of course it does.

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11

Tbf it doesn’t care if people live or die… so long as they refill its supply (it ran out of red ink, it would seem).

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Yes, but they contain human engineered contempt.

Its not their own creation.

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37

Oh I’m not convinced of that

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5

Ink on demand is entirely a business model made manifest by human contempt for the consumer.

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6

This is true, but even without that inkjet printers are spiteful bastards!

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This artist’s medium is paper jams.

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7


The lesser known 34th rule of robotics proposed by Isaac Asimov.

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71

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How would that even work? If a robot is sexually attracted to a human it’s more of a zoophilia, right?

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25

Just build a robot that understands consent, easy

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27

Unfortunately, that may be more difficult than it sounds, because many meatbags struggle with the concept even today.

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9

Well if a robot is just a computer it’s gonna do exactly what it was programmed to, I bet safewords are a lot easier than with meatbags

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6

clank clank clank clank

SAFE WORD! SAFE WORD!

Cannot connect to the speech-to-text API endpoint. Please try again later

clank clank clank clank

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Copilot certainly isn’t getting it.

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“Robosexuality”, according to Futurama.

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13

“The good book 3.0 saith, ‘Thou shall not lie down with a human! Nor do it standing up, nor at any angle in between!’” - Preacherbot

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One-zero-zero.-one-zero-zero-zero.-one-one-one-zero.-one-zero-one-one-one-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-one-one-one-one-zero-one-zero-zero-zero–zero-zero.-one-zero-zero-zero.-one-one-one-zero.-one-zero-one-one-one-zero

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5

JFC watch your language there are kids on here

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4

Ones and zeroes everywhere! And I thought I saw a two!

It was just a dream, Bender. There’s no such thing as two.

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That’s the other way around human -> robot

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Homosexuality then!
Wait.

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5

“Anthroposexuality” might be the term,. you’re looking for.
(Might spoil the original pun but opens a lot of really weird questions.)

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But what if, and hear me out on this, what if we gave it all the RAM?

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26

Padme meme: “you mean all the availableram in the computer, right?”

Anakin:

Padme: “you mean all the available RAM in the computer, right?”

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Some of your computers are horny by proxy. Contact horn.

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22


we can make a horny computer

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THIS CANNOT CONTINUE

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4

Do not feel bad about it. We are alive, after all. And being alive is pretty much a constant stream of embarrassment.

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2



Don’t be (do ALL the) evil!

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Oh I’ve got all kinds of evil planned

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2

*Shudder*, so, so Very, deliciously evil!

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My computer is 100% spiteful unless its machine spirit is placated with the proper ritual.

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14

All hail the Omnissiah!

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2


“can never”?

Must never implies that it can, but if it does, something bad will happen.

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5

I mean look at how many people’s brains are leaking out their ears with AI slop going around.

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4

Since this is based on something else, it follows the argumentation of the original

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Wait no this is deep

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5

Well, why do you think birds are singing? Humans are singing for very similar reasons - and let’s just not talk about playing the guitar…

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3

As someone who plays guitar for the love of the game, I just think it’s neat, guitarists are douchebags, as a general rule.

It’s like Big Tugg said, not everyone who plays guitar is a douchebag, but every douchebag does own a guitar.

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“for the love of the game”, hahahaha, good one. Sure. We all do… No, seriously, after playing for a couple of decades, music has become my only religion and I am a fucking fanatic. Shut up, infidels! I’m serious. But I was a young, good looking bastard of a guitar player once and I confess, I had the morals of a hungry beagle… I better shut up ’n’ play my guitar.

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I treat it like orthodox religious prayer, keep it to myself and only practice in the home. Only converse about it with other practitioners, because evangelists are the worst. It’s an addiction more than anything, if you’re doing it right. At this point I need to shred and connect every phrase of the Phrygian in triplets up and down and back and forth just to stave off the shakes and feel normal. And by normal, I mean fuckin’ rad.

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2

You are aware, what the source of all religion, spirituality and human culture itself is? Who the first priests, the masters of ceremony were? So, you have decided to become your own hermetic order. Clearly an aberration.

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2

More like a heretic order.

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Digital artists in shambles

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I think it was Matisse who when askes how he could still paint with his arthritic hands replied: “Painting is mostly the work of a very different part of my body.”

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At that time, people did not yet suspect that their creativity and soul were just patters that could be copied thanks to a stable database and sufficient computing power.

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My robot vacuum would disagree. Every time it finds one of my dog’s toys, it rolls itself on top of it and starts humping. One of these days I’ll record this and set it to the turtle sound you can’t not imagine.

Or this sound:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPdvvRAdsbQ

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2

HEY

art can be silly, too!

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Deleted by author

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c/schizoposting is thataway man

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Bro… where’s /c/metashitposting?

I normally don’t go full meta, but the world needs an emergency pun transfusion

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