weastie, weastie@lemmy.world

Honestly I think it’s wild people are so upset about this. Typing back and forth a ton of DMs sucks. Phone calls just get things accomplished. That’s my experience as a software engineer at least.

I’m 25 so my experience is a little easier since people my age are looking for friends more actively, but I still think I can provide some advice. I have a huge friend group that I’m very proud of and put a lot of work into developing.

1. You have to meet potential friends in the first place. Bars, clubs, bookstores, community events, volunteering, neighbors, etc. Ask about people’s interests and hobbies and see if any line up. Maybe you both like horror movies or a certain video game or something like that.
2. You have to be active about it. Invite people to things, and put effort into it. What you do is up to you, but some universal things are dinner, board games, movies, etc. Don’t get too nervous about if it will be “boring” or “cool”. The way I think of it, is would I rather have a boring time with my friends or be on my phone by myself? I chose boring time with friends every time.
3. Don’t be afraid to give up on making a certain friend. If someone isn’t being responsive or doesn’t seem interested in hanging out, that’s totally fine. Just move on. Don’t dwell on it. When I first moved to the city I live in, I tried making something like 15 or so friends and only about 3 of them actually went through with plans, and now we’re all besties. That means only 20%. Like I said, you have to put in effort.

I do devops at work and my experience is that really any CI/CD system works, they all have enough features to do what you want. They all fundamentally just run scripts on boxes. Therefore, I say pick the easiest one, likely the one that is built into whatever Git system you are using.

Try to keep your pipelines simple-ish when you can, they almost never need to be that complicated. 95% of the time it’s just running a command or two. If a pipeline needs to do something complex, I’d recommend writing that script into the Git repo and calling it, rather than having a CI job that is 100 lines long.

I progressively vaped lower and lower nicotine percentages until I was vaping 0% nic. Still did that for a couple weeks and then I quit vaping altogether.

It’s nice to be able to separately quit nicotine and vaping, since they’re both addictive.

Bringing friends and community together? I see an awful lot of Lemmings talk about disliking people, being introverted, etc.

I think if there’s one main thing people will remember about me, it’s how I bring people together. I get all my depressed friends off their ass and make them hang out with me, fun stuff :)

I started using Qobuz a couple weeks ago. Haven’t cancelled my Spotify subscription just yet but I think I will.

It has every band and song I’ve searched for so far. Missing some features from Spotify (like “Start a jam"), but overall I’m happy to not be supporting them anymore.

I think some people mistakenly think that being in a city means you have to go out a ton because there’s all these cool bars, museums, etc.

But to me, I think of it more like, it’s nice that if I want to do one of those things it doesn’t require much effort, but I still only do it if I want to

Scenarios:

• You want to drink a lot and have an energetic night - One of the coolest things about cities is how close and accessible bars are. This makes it super easy to meet up with your friends and pregame a ton. Then you can walk over to a bar or club already hammered, and you only have to buy one or two drinks to keep it going.
• You want a cozy night - Then just get together with friends at one of your places and play board games or watch a movie or something. Now, if every single one of your friends has a really small apartment, then I understand this might be less comfortable. Maybe the apartment building has a common space?
• Daytime events - Parks, community events, festivals, etc. There’s usually a few free events every day, check your local news

What a stupid comment. Just showing up to a protest is far more than most people do. Do you think the No Kings protest would have had so much coverage if only 100 people went to it?

Fighting depression is hard as fuck. Every muscle and bone in your body will tell you to give up, it's too hard, it's not worth it, etc. But it's definitely worth it. Good luck.

Set aside time for reflection (what goals are working and what aren't), and celebrate the fuck out of even the slightest win. Cleaned your room? That's fantastic. Don't hold off on being proud of yourself until you've completely turned your life around. You have to truly convince yourself that each small step along the way is really a huge victory. Then, start getting addicted to those wins. It'll work out eventually.

Pennsylvania's got you covered with Pittsburgh and Philly.

Pittsburgh has great walking but its transit is quite limited. Philly has good transit (for USA).

Both very affordable compared to other cities.

Chicago is pretty similar to Philly in terms of affordability, walkability and transit.

I'm a bassist in a few bands. Wish there was more bass discussion here on Lemmy.

If you're into prog rock, check out one of my band's songs: frog rock

You're right that this might look like BPD, but that's also a huge conclusion to draw from only a couple sentences. It's extremely rare to diagnose BPD before age 18 because it has too much overlap with just... the nature of moody teens and puberty.

OP, it might be useful to research BPD but moreso than anything, just give her time and make sure she knows you're there if she needs you. Give her reassurance and try asking her about why she thinks people hate her, and maybe try working through it with her (try bringing logic into it, but try to get her to come up with the logic rather than telling her directly).

It's super reliable. You can always play a high card. Sometimes you can't play a pair.

It's really good with Blackboard because you can just select all the red cards and get it.

You can get really low hand size, things like stuntman.

If most of your score is coming jokers, then the hand type you play doesn't matter so much.

Haha, you're right. I guess I should have written "then try to do thing A".

If you feel like you're struggling to accomplish a task, take a moment to think about your stimulation level. Are you understimulated or overstimulated? Sometimes just acknowledging it is enough, everyone has their own techniques.

For example, if I'm trying to work and I'm understimulated, I might throw on some metal music or something like that. If I'm overstimulated, probably means I should sit in a dark room for 5 or 10 minutes until I feel better before trying to do anything.