• essell@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Comment removed. I posted in haste without noticing which community I’m in. Even as an Enby, I feel like I don’t want to intrude. Apologies!

      • foxglove (she/her)@lazysoci.alM
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        2 months ago

        Even as an Enby, I feel like I don’t want to intrude.

        Thanks for being sensitive to kluczyczka, but I also wanted to point out that enbies who feel they belong in a women’s community are explicitly welcome here - don’t exclude yourself from the women’s space just because you’re an enby if you otherwise feel you belong.

        • essell@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Thank you for the warmth and welcoming.

          Growing up “male” and still being broadly seen that way, I really enjoy reading the conversations in this space. It helps me connect more deeply to the rest of me that was denied for so long.

          I’m happy learning from this community, if I offered a perspective it’d be from that history which is frankly from a male experience. Plenty of places to get those online without me bringing that here.

          This might change in time I guess. Still a messy process for me!

      • kluczyczka (she/her)@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 months ago

        hey, i am happy about your affirmation of my idea … but would you mind not calling me ‘guy’? i am surprised myself about how deep that hit, knowing that there is a gender neutral nuance to it … but plz don’t.

        • essell@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Sorry about that, totally won’t do it again.

          I was surprised by my own hesitation when I wrote it and did ponder alternatives, wish I’d gone with one of them now.

          All the vaguely gender neutral casual terms for strangers all feel like they have a gendered flavour to them for me… Dude, Bro, Fella… Do you have a preferred term for situations like this?

          I’m just gonna edit it to use your name. That’s what I’d do IRL.

          Sorry again

          • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            2 months ago

            fwiw, the sensitivity folks have for this varies … I myself was very sensitive to otherwise neutral terms like “guys” or “dude” early in transition mostly because I couldn’t distinguish when someone was misgendering me or not … but once I started to pass and my trans status became secret, “guys” no longer bothered me because it was so unlikely to be misgendering.

            So it’s good to be sensitive when people give you feedback, but just know it’s not like there is a single rule that will work for everyone.

          • ZDL@lazysoci.al
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            2 months ago

            I use “comrade” myself. Albeit in its Chinese formulation: 同志. (See, while it’s unbearably stuffy in modern China, 同志 is also the term used in the LGBTQ+ community in China to refer to each other which is a really spiffy subversion of authority that I adore to pieces.)