I am supposed to turn in a major project, and I’m so far behind. I have adhd and my executive dysfunction has been out of control for weeks. I am already two days past the deadline, and nobody has called me on it yet, but the minute they do shit will hit the fan.
I’m scrambling to pull something together, but it’s not going to be enough.
What kind of major project is this where you’re days behind and nobody has noticed or asked about it? That means either there’s a lot of trust in you, or it’s perhaps not as critical to other people as it seems to you. If it’s the latter, you might have a pleasant surprise and find there is more time on the table.
Regardless of all that, the only thing you can do is to be honest and let your boss know what’s up.
For future projects, even if you aren’t asked for updates I’d still suggest giving them honestly. Even if you’re behind - no in fact, especially if you are behind.
Admitting you’re behind might feel bad, but it’s also sharing responsibility. If your boss knows the project is behind then they also have to help do something about it, be that reprioritising or finding help or extending - and if they can’t do that then they’re also failing at being a competent boss.
It’s a ton of projections, but seems like they’re lying about the progress to their manager. Been there, doesn’t end well
Admitting you’re behind might feel bad, but it’s also sharing responsibility.
Yeah, there’s no shame in having problems with a project. A lot of times, as your manager sees that you’re competent, they’ll give you harder projects that nobody else could do. Not in a bad way, just because they’re trying to find the right performance level to manage your time.
Even if it’s an easy task that you just had problems getting with… that happens. Keep your cool, don’t make too many excuses, and keep other people informed.
Unethical life pro tip: go out on fmla leave immediately.
Ethical life pro tip: learn from this, once you behind you need to speak up.
Adhere to first rule of holes: when in one, stop digging. Go out on leave because you aren’t well or speak up immediately and own the error.
You might want to think about talking to your manager and explaining the situation to them. Maybe they can provide options for reaching a better outcome. Also I think they will be happier to be aware of the situation earlier rather than when it’s too late.
Call in your manager and explain de situation. Better to be lay off on your own terms.
What Tribbles friend said. Talk to your boss. Starting the project over with someone else won’t be faster than giving you time/support to finish it.
Are you medicated, seeing a psychiatrist?
I am seeing a psychiatrist, but I don’t think I’m on the right meds. Wellbutrin for anxiety and melatonin to sleep. He also is a bit of a holistic naturalist and keeps recommending Enlyte medical food, which sounds like some bullshit but I dunno. I think I need a better doctor who will just give me the stimulants.
Having both a wife and child with ADHD you need to try different meds to figure out what works.
In spite of the fact that is it is basically guaranteed that it is an inherited genetic trait the meds that work for them are different and even from different categories.
Pretty common actually. Some meds are better suited for kids or for adults, due to various factors, not just biology.
You need to get one that will actually help you with executive dysfunction by prescribing Adderall, Concerta, Ritalin, etc
Whatever you do, don’t be talked into resigning. Don’t sign any sort of severance without talking to a lawyer, either.
Ive got similar deadline problems. Dont pretend like trying harder yourself will solve this. Also dont think humbly admitting fault is useful either.
For myself i invited more oversight or handshakes with my manager before risk is too high. Something like, “are you on schedule?” Isnt enough for me, ive gotta have that 15 minute screen share where i show how on schedule i am materially. Otherwise, ill lie to myself that all is well, when its not. Trying to demonstrate independent performance isnt worth fucking it up again.
Your manager will appreciate knowing how to get better results. Saying you need help with this sort of task management is admitting weakness, but if its accomodated by safe guards then its all good. Ive fooled myself too many times trying to fix similar behavior, and these are the only successful ways ive found.
Put those check-ins on the calendar from the get-go at useful periods the moment you got something assigned.
Better to as forgiveness than permission? As others have said, lay it all out for your manager what has happened. If a company doesn’t account for missteps in projects and they take longer, it’s a pretty poor company.
