Refund policy

Refunds & Returns Policy

First Things First

You’re here because something didn’t go according to plan. Maybe the size wasn’t right. Maybe you changed your mind. Maybe you made a questionable life choice at 3AM and now reality has entered the chat.
It’s fine. We’ve all been there. Let’s fix it.

At Quaaludes, we believe in second chances — for bad decisions, regrettable t-shirt choices, and nights you don’t fully remember.
So yes, you can return your stuff.
But there are rules. This isn't Woodstock. Structure exists.

The Golden Window: 30 Days

You have exactly 30 days from the date your order claims to have arrived. (We say "claims" because some of you live in postal twilight zones.)

After 30 days, the window slams shut like a judge’s gavel. No appeals, no sob stories.

What’s Eligible for Return:

Items that are unworn, unwashed, and un-sabotaged.
Original tags still attached.
Basically, if you could convince someone it just came off the shelf — you're good.

What’s Not Eligible:

Anything that smells like your "spiritual journey."
Items you wore "just once for a photo shoot." (Nice try.)
Mystery Sale and Final Sale items.
Gift cards (because no one can return regret).
Items bought from unauthorized sellers (sorry, but eBay is the Wild West).

How to Return Stuff (Without Losing Your Mind)

Email [email protected] with:
- Your order number
- The item(s) you want to return
- The reason (even if the reason is “I panicked”)
We’ll send you clear return instructions. Follow them like your social life depends on it.
Ship it back using a reliable carrier. Get tracking.
(If your package vanishes into a black hole, we’re not the recovery squad.)

Exchanges: The Honest Truth

Want a different size? Color? Better life choices?

We don't do traditional exchanges because it's 2025 and inventory moves faster than your last situationship.
Here's how it works:

Return your original item for a refund.
Place a new order for what you actually want.
Boom. Problem solved. Minimal emotional damage.

Refund Timing: Patience Is A Virtue

Once we receive your return, our team (trained in the ancient art of staring suspiciously at clothes) will inspect it.

If approved:

Refunds are processed within 5–7 business days.
You'll get the refund back on your original payment method.

Important:

Your bank/card company might drag their feet.
Crypto refunds? Not happening. We’re not Coinbase.

Please don't email us 48 hours later with "where’s my money?"
If we could control the global banking system, we wouldn't be selling t-shirts.

Damaged, Defective, or Just Plain Weird?

If your item arrived defective, damaged, or looking like it survived a mosh pit, hit us up within 7 days of delivery.

What we need:

Order number
Photos that make it clear what went wrong
A short description (optional but encouraged — we love a good tragic saga)

We’ll fix it faster than you can blame Mercury in retrograde.

Shipping Costs: Who Pays?

If the item is damaged, defective, or the error was ours — we pay.
If you just changed your mind or ordered the wrong size — you pay.

We recommend using trackable shipping. Lost returns = sad emails = no refunds.

Abuse Policy: We Know Your Tricks

We love our customers.
We don't love scammers, serial returners, or "accidental influencers" who plan to wear it once and send it back.

If we catch suspicious behavior:

We reserve the right to deny future returns.
We might even send your name to the secret industry blacklist. (JK... mostly.)

Play fair. Stay legendary.

Need Help? Talk to a Human.

We don’t outsource support to robots named Chad.
If you have questions, problems, emotional baggage related to your order — email [email protected].
We’ll help you out without passive-aggressive automated replies.

The Final Word

You bought it because you wanted to feel something.
You’re returning it because... well, feelings are complicated.
Either way, Quaaludes has your back — one way ticket to bad decisions and even better t-shirts.

Quaaludes. Good vibes only. Until they aren't.