volore, volore@scribe.disroot.org

if bad things happened to bad people, Donald Trump wouldn’t have ever gone further than “bit part in Home Alone 2” before ending up in prison. Karma is a comforting fairytale the aggrieved tell themselves to cope with an unjust world.

this is the weirdest god damn timeline.

I want to get off of Mr. Bones’ Wild Ride.

this. @lemmysir@lemmy.zip Wait for a physical media release to support the creators if you so choose, but piracy will almost always be a better user experience than giving Netflix money nowadays.

Now I’d never normally be in favor of kicking dogs, not even robot ones; however…

as someone also with autism, allow me: it’s a shitpost, try not to think too hard about it.

pal, you’re talking about the part of the fediverse that was not just merely interested in but intensely obsessed with BEANS for a solid week (and to some degree still is). You gotta do worse shitposting than this to make us flinch.

he eat

he poop

but most importantly

he go zoop

“evil and violence is not the natural state of humanity. this is not what humanity is like.”

[picks up history textbook]

[reading] Oh no.
[flips a few pages ahead] Oh no. Oh dear.
Oh god oh golly oh jeez oh fuck [frantic flipping through book, trying to find the part of human history without lots of violence and evil]

perhaps it’s some confirmation bias – it being easier to write, both contemporarily and in hindsight, about the year a war kicked off than the years of fuckall happening before it – but no I’m fairly confident at least half of all of us are proper assholes, possibly more than half, and always have been; personal learned experience has further reinforced this. Misanthropy is only really unhealthy for oneself when you don’t know who you should be directing that anger at.

[reads username]

Do they glow in the dark, though?

Crazy Larry, is that you?

“crossdressing as a girl is something only a guy can do, therefor it is the manliest possible activity.” – anonymous modern day socrates

when people tell you who they are, believe them

for instance, while I may not believe you fart actual glitter all the time, I also have no doubt that the sort of person who sets “I_Fart_Glitter” as their username also has no qualms about shoving some craft herpes up their funhole just to prove me wrong

now, taking what we’ve learned from this, what’s their username? what does it tell you? it’s quite possible they’re just unfathomably stupid, instead of or in addition to being a killjoy.

I would also add, probably watch alone. Not exactly a great movie to watch with family, nor for a romantic date. Could maybe crack some good dark jokes with friends if you’ve got the right kind of fucked-up buddies, but that’s about the only possible “enjoyable and not awkward shared viewing of Deliverance” I can envision.

Wanna go to a club where people wee on each other?

some services are not worth paying for – movie/tv streaming services, for instance.

Some services, on the other hand, are not worth not paying for. A decent VPN is one of them.

oh god yes please give me access to military infrastructure, explosives, and firearms; I am a perfectly sane and obedient selective service applicant and can be trusted in the vicinity of all of these things

not every showerthoughts-worthy post is necessarily had in a shower

Also, if it’s been more than a few days, take a shower for me, homie. If you won’t do it for you, do it for me. Depression is a fuck.