ABOUT US We’re a fast-moving, fail-forward, synergy-first organization disrupting the disruption space. Founded in 2023, we’ve already pivoted seven times and we’re not slowing down! Our culture is like a family — specifically, one where you are expected to show up to Thanksgiving even when you’re sick and nobody pays you back for the gas.

THE ROLE We’re looking for a passionate rockstar ninja unicorn to join our lean team of 4 (soon to be 5, if you count the founder’s Labradoodle, Benchmark, who sits in on all standups).

RESPONSIBILITIES You will be responsible for, but not limited to: all marketing, all sales, all accounting, light HR, medium HR, heavy HR, social media across 14 platforms, answering phones, ordering lunch, not ordering lunch when we’re doing a team fast, some light legal review, and “other duties as assigned” (this section has its own spreadsheet).

REQUIREMENTS 15+ years of experience in an industry that has existed for 9 years Bachelor’s degree required; Master’s preferred; PhD tolerated Expert-level proficiency in Excel, Salesforce, Adobe Suite, Kubernetes, Mandarin, sourdough fermentation, and “the vibe” Must be a self-starter who also takes direction extremely well and doesn’t ask clarifying questions Comfortable in a fast-paced environment (we have not determined the pace; it changes hourly) Experience managing a team is a plus — you will not be managing a team Must have own laptop, monitor, standing desk, and ergonomic chair. We have a ping pong table

COMPENSATION & BENEFITS Competitive salary (see: not competitive) Unlimited PTO (see: culturally impossible PTO) “Equity” (see: a conversation we can have later) Free sparkling water on Tuesdays The opportunity to make a real impact 🚀

TO APPLY Please submit your resume, a cover letter explaining why you are passionate about us specifically, three professional references, two personal references, one reference from a pet, a 90-day business plan, a short essay (800–1200 words) on where you see the industry in five years, and a fun fact that “really shows your personality.”

Due to the volume of applications, only candidates selected for interviews will be contacted. All others will be left to wonder forever. We are an equal opportunity employer who will nonetheless ask you in the interview if you “have kids or plan to.”