Hello, human resources?

Women, by contrast, are polite enough to only get piss all over the toilet seat

Zero fatalities is a pretty decent silver lining. I hope this guy is a laughingstock and none of the other terrorists in hell will let him sit at their table.

I’m sorry if my freedom offends you

Sorry but we ran it past a focus group and it turns out Predators hunting Aliens drives more engagement. We tried 🤷🏻

We’re going to put a cheeseburger in every tummy, and deport all the vegetarians

But you save 5% that way!

Sure, in my experience most of them are very nice, but that’s largely because they perceive me as a member of their tribe.

feck?

That the math checks out only make me angrier

Someone once told me a story about how they were still regularly using code I wrote several years after I had left that company. I may have overcorrected based on that one data point.

It’s not that the scene is unwelcoming, it’s more that at some point it turned into a volunteer babysitting gig and nobody told me

Removed by mod

This is so dumb, I did the math and you would have to eat hundreds of thousands of nuggets for it to add to to even a single small bullet.

We’re going to need more memory foam

Corporate has given you a present. You will smile and thank them and pretend to love it or we will call you out so fucking hard you will wish you had never been born.

Silence peasant. You lack the necessary qualifications to interpret the old texts, leave that to your betters.

Dude, pass the joint, you’re bogarting it

This guy is a chin supremacist

You’re the fucking man